So You Find Yourself Living In L.A. (Part 2)

aka Seriously? Spam?

That's right, this is a special roommate edition of WDR's "So You Find Yourself Living in L.A." series. As you all know by now, several members of the crew may or may not be living in the greater Los Angeles area, and several of these aforementioned persons may or may not have roommates.

Here are some lists, I know how you people love them.




Things my roommate uses with frequency:

• Shea Butter hand soap
• Loads of hair gel
• Cologne... always cologne
• The word "Venezuela"
• Spam

(Please do not go to Ugly-Halloween-Costumes.com ... a Spam costume is far from hilarious, it is just stupid. Also, this guy looks like a complete tool.)

Things that do and do not work in our apartment:

• Gas stove - Works!
• Vent above stove - Doesn't!
• Window - Works!
• Window - Only opens a foot!
• It's hot, god damn it!
• Cable T.V. - Works!
• Comedy Central - East Coast Time for some reason!
• Food Disposal - Works!
• Sink - Clogged Before first use!
• Maintenance Guy - Works!
• R.A. - Kinda a Huge Tool!
• DVD Player - Works!
• DVD Collection - Left at home!
• Roommate's DVD Collection - Mostly Clerks 2, Some Filler!
• Internet - Works!
• Internet Jacks - Only two per room with 3 computers!
• Wireless Internet - Works!
• Wireless Hubs - In Every Building But Ours!
• Roommate's Cooking Skills - Delicious!
• Room - Now Smells Permanently Like Fish!
• Speaking of which! - Supermarket
• Supermarket - Open!
• Food Selection - Extremely Sketchy!
• Meat Selection - Smells Terrible!
• Apartment - Nice Size!
• Lighting Situation - My Room Is Totally Dark!
• Pornography - Hold On, I'll Be Right Back!

... Anyway. All things considered, this place is pretty cool. My roommate is a fun guy, although his taste in women thus far is hilarious..

Roommate's Taste in Women:

• Julia Louis-Dreyfus from Seinfeld
• Rosario Dawson from Clerks 2
• His Girlfriend
• The two Korean girls from down the hall... these two kinda creep me out... not directly because they are Korean, but because of a side-effect of being Korean... ... Let's just say that when they came in the room I had to turn my fan off. See, my roommate had taken the screen off our window earlier in a fruitless attempt at openining the window further to get more air in the room... Now this became a significant concern as I was honestly worried that my fan would blow these two ladies right out our window and we would have a premeditated homicide case on our hands. Seriously. I'd make the whole "if they turned sideways they'd be invisible" joke, but the truth is that their orientation with respect to the viewer has very little to do with their visibility unless said viewer possesses a high-power optical device.

Very tiny.


That's all for now.