Joe Reefer's Review and Opinions on Irrelevant Products - Rockstar "Roasted" Mocha

Upon the soft hiss and crack of the can as the Rockstar "Roasted" Mocha is opened, I find myself in a world of confusion, fear, and desire. Rockstar never tasted good, and then the franchise took it upon itself to ruin the taste of juice, and "punch" (ie cornsyrup) just for the thrill of the hunt. This time, they have set their sights on coffee. An unlikely target, as coffee tastes terrible already. However, the aroma is not unenticing, and the color does appear to be that of coffee, so this intrepid soul will take that taste.

The smooth, milky fluid splashes over my tongue, a sweet near-chocolate flavor dances between my lips, and a smooth subdued flavor of coffee with just a subtle zest of disgusting fills my mouth. Though the typical Rockstar aftertaste of shame, sweat, and crushed dreams of a thousand factory workers does grow steadly, it can be quickly quenched with another sip of this intriguing brew.

Rockstar's impressively thin Mocha drink passes the test. Now I need to brush my teeth.

Initial Taste: A-
Aftertaste: C
Ease of Consumption: A
Overall Grade: B