As I'm sure all of our more vigilant readers have noticed (I'm looking at you,
Brazil), there was quite the lull on WDR the last few days. That's right, the esteemed Mr. Ouzo stepped out of the office for a vacation, and as any demanding work environment will do, Mr. Zhuang and I took the opportunity for some office shenanigans.
Nothing too crazy really, just the usual:
Head-photocopying
Haha. Yes, Todd the Copy-Boy's face has sure been seen around a lot more since then. Hehe. We're suing him for wasting our toner. Lots of paperwork in a lawsuit. We're not clear on if we can get the price of toner wasted on the frivolous lawsuit added to the reparations sued for in the lawsuit yet. Here's hoping!
Let's see, what else...
Mr. Ouzo's desk was actually disassembled and rebuilt outside.
This is of course the picture documenting those few moments immediately after we reproduced the actual working condition of the desk via a series of detailed photographs, and before a cunning hobo made his move and became the acting emperor of the Tri-Dumpster area.
To make up for the theft of copious amounts of personal information (Nic Ouzo stores scanned and dated files of all his social security, insurance, and credit card information on his computer), we all chipped in and bought Mr. Ouzo a new desk and computer. We felt it would add to the surprise and possibly decrease the binge-firings if we pretended it was his birthday and wrapped it all up.
I'm guessing Mr. Ouzo will be both pleasantly surprised
and informed.
Our prank on Mr. Zhuang's desk ended with some egg on our faces...
I promise, Mr. Zhuang, we really didn't know about your problem and weren't making any kind of commentary. I do know a really good group though, and I will make sure to get you that phone number right away. Trust them, they're good people, and the best way to start really is to admit that you've got a problem.
Can't forget about this one...
Don't let his dress fool you - Jack is twice as stupid as he appears. That guy is a real
tool.
Let's see, I'm sure there are plenty of other great happenings to enthrall you all with. We did play a long game of Truth of Dare. That's always fun. For instance, who knew that Dave the maintenance guy has had
three types of gonorrhea? I didn't even know there
were three types. Oh, also it turns out Pam is actually a strict dominatrix with a heart of gold.
Seriously. Don't piss her off. Balls in the bleachers, let me tell you
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this careful documenting of all the things that go on in WDR's halls when the boss is away. Please don't say anything, because if he found out we all slacked off, messed around with the copier, and had a pretty hot three-some with Pam... well, let's just say we'd probably
all be hobo emperors of a certain dumpster utopia right now.
Wait, he already came back?
There's already a new post? HE KNOWS?!SHIT, HIDE!
Yes, times have been hard, especially without the Hump Day Helper to get you through your work (or, perhaps now, lack thereof) week or the occasional randomness of Joe's epic blogs. We're living in a time when the internet will probably self-destruct, the oceans are full of plastic, Arlen Spector is now a democrat and we're all washing our hands like Monk to avoid getting something called "Swine Flu." We need something fun to bring us out of the funk we're in nationally (and when I say funk I don't mean the kind with George Clinton). So I propose the epic return of WDR! A place where you can get away from it all - or atl least laugh at it.
