The American Public Disappoints Again

So Transformers 2 was the number one movie in America last weekend--not only that, it broke some sort of box office record in the process. Of course, the fact that this happened is not exactly shocking, but that doesn't mean it can't bring a tear to the Indian's eye.


Look people. I understand the general sentiment to want to see something like Transformers. I mean, the toys were kickass, and who can argue with robots beating the ever-living fuck out of each other? That's just good clean ol' American fun, the kind that me and my grand-pappy would engage in down in Kentucky. Shiiiyit, I remember going to the Louisville 'BotFight every Arbor Day. It's pretty much a goddamn tradition.

But just because in theory Transformers 2 would seem like a good use of 151 minutes of your time (seriously, it is that long), that doesn't mean that you should go ahead and pencil in an appointment. If you need reasons, I believe I should point you to Exhibit A: the first movie. Despite Zhuang's early review to the contrary, I would like to point out that the first movie was so bad that I refuse this day to watch it a second time, even if it included what would sure to be a hilarious Rifftrax (from Mike Hodgson, of MST3K fame). I've seen plenty of bad movies multiple times, but it is extremely rare for me to not revisit a movie to revel in its crapulence.


I mean, how can one fuck up a movie about robots pounding the crap out of each other? I mean, look, we weren't expecting much in terms of a coherent plot or story, and God knows we weren't expecting great performances from Shia The Beef or Megan Dead-Eyed Fox. But when the action is so incomprehensible that YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GODDAMN ROBOT-BLOB IS DOING TO THE OTHER, then you don't have a goddamn robots-fighting movie. So if we're going to do this all over again, plus include some jive-talking robots that would make Jar Jar Binks blush, then you should stay the fuck away.

Again, I'm not totally anti-robot fight. Hell, I just watched the latest Terminator movie last week. America, why couldn't you have watched that instead? You would have gotten your fill of explosions and metal carnage without having to condone a cinematic abortion. Or even watch The Hangover again. Just don't fucking give any more money for Transformers fucking 2.

Nic Ouzo's Wild European Adventure: My First Night in The Hague

I've already discussed the details of my initial travels, but have yet to give much of an account of what's happened since I've been on the Continent itself. Today, that changes as I tell you the story of my first night in the Netherlands.

I came to Holland without any place to stay lined up, based on the advice of an intern that had done this same gig in the previous year. They had the misfortune of agreeing to an apartment sight unseen that was, shall we say, "below standard." Having an open shower in the middle of the kitchen is understandably disappointing for a lot of people. So the logic was to get on the ground in The Hague, get a hotel for a couple of nights, and then look for more permanent lodging while you're there, so you can get a better view of what's available and what's convenient. Sound strategy if you ask me.



Of course, I come in without even making a hotel reservation. I literally show up to work with all my suitcases, coming straight from the airport/train station/taxi stand. Fuck it, there's gotta be something like a Holiday Inn where I can crash. This shouldn't be an issue--I'll just go online, make a phone call, and boom, I'll be done.

Except that it was a holiday weekend coming up in the Netherlands. And that means the Dutch were heading to the beach en masse, and whaddyaknow, The Hague has a beach. So finding a room was a bit more of a problem than I thought. I finally locate a reasonably priced place and set a reservation in some random part of the city. So my co-workers get me all set up on the bus to this area, and I set out to stay the night.

So I head out into what appears to be a nice little neighborhood, very pleasant, very green, very friendly. As I'm walking, I'm thinking, this isn't the kind of place where you would find a hotel. And you know, this thinking was right. Because this is the kind of place where you once found a hotel, and now instead have condominiums. That's right, the address that I had for the hotel was for its old location. And considering most American cell phones don't work in Europe, and I had no internet access, well, I was proper fucked as they say.

So, recap: I am in the middle of a foreign country where I don't speak the language. I have three suitcases and a backpack I have to carry everywhere. I have no place to stay for the night. I am proper fucked.



Alright, time to regroup. You know only one address in the city, and that's your work. Head back there, figure things out from there. Maybe somebody is still at the office...nope. No good. Well, there's gotta be a hotel somewhere nearby...how about here?...no, nothing here...Can I use the phone? No?...

Finally I randomly find a taxi, and direct him to just drive me to any hotel. Any hotel. This of course is still difficult, since most hotels are booked, but the driver is generous enough to park at each place and inquire within whether rooms are available. After 4 tries, we finally get to a craptastic place by the beach, whose view is blocked...by another hotel. All for the low price of something like 80 dollars for the night! At least I didn't stay in Badhotel, which was literally across the street. Clearly the only reason why my hotel wasn't named that was because it was beaten to the punch.



Inauspicious beginnings and all that.

Hump Day Helper -- The Old Guys Still Have It Edition

Because it's Wednesday, and we all need a pick-me-up to make it through the rest of the week in our respective hells, WDR is providing some fun.


We've featured these guys multiple times here on WDR, mainly because it means we get to use one of our favorite tags on these posts. Even if that weren't the case, we'd still probably get around to showing multiple videos from Dinosaur Jr.

In case you haven't heard, these titans of '80s (and early '90s) indie rock have reunited (original lineup of Lou + Murph intact), and have decided to forget that there was a 20 year gap in their history and rock on as if Bug came out just last week. People thought that their first effort from the reunion, Beyond, was kind of a fluke, because I mean, aren't all reunions supposed to kind of suck? However, considering the rave reviews that have come out for this week's release, Farm, that kind of theorizing can be deemed to be pure bullshit. Here's proof that the old guys still know how to kick the shit. Of course, I'll still need to explain my concert tee every time I wear it.

I had trouble figuring out which video to choose, but I decided to go with the cheap-knockoff of "Sledgehammer." Because if there's one thing we need more of in our lives, it's the Sledgehammer video.

There's a way I feel right now
Wish you'd help me, don't know how
We're all nuts so who helps who
Some help when no one's got a clue...

A Slightly Educated View of Important Stuff: Blogs v. Newspapers

Occasionally WDR finds some subject of importance to chat about that, well, we might actually know a thing or two about. Usually it's Nic who puts these together, but this time Mr. Zhuang is going to contribute.


There's been a lot of talk about the legitimacy of blog news sites versus traditional newspapers. Much of this talk is coming from newspapers which are, if you haven't noticed, drowning like rats on a sinking ship.

First I should say that I am a professionally trained journalist who likes to read information off of a printed page. I'm not exactly sure why I prefer this method and I know that I'm part of a dying breed. But there it is. I prefer print. I'm sad to see newspapers go under, but what hurts me more is the desperate way they're leaving us.

Newspapers have been our primary source of news since the founding of this country. In fact, newspapers (and other print media) are the only businesses specifically protected under the constitution. They have been important to the development of our country. The spread of basic literacy throughout the country can be attributed largely to newspaper production. Several of the Founding Fathers owned and operated newspapers. But now, with the competition from television, internet and blogs, newspapers are dying out. And of all of these competitors, blogs are being targeted most by newspapers. Blogs are singled out for not being professional and lacking the ability to properly serve as news sources.

Now let's think about this for a moment. If we looked back at the newspapers of this country early in their history, we would find something far less professional than even THIS blog. We would see newspapers with minimal stories with a blank back page for people to write in their own stories or comments. Sound familiar? Except that these comments and stories BECAME news! None of these things were cited! Most of them weren't even coherent! There were no fact checkers. The only people who would point out the problems of the paper were rival newspapers who had problems of their own.

Gradually, the press evolved to become more timely and accurate. Rules of grammar were enforced. Facts were checked. Codes of ethics were written and generally followed. It took time for newspapers to become legitimate in the eyes of the public. Even now some people won't trust newspapers. Trust is hard won and easily lost.

So now the newspapers are attacking the blogs for a lack of professionalism. To an extent it's true: Many news blogs pull stories from other sources (i.e. newspapers) but this hardly describes all of them. In all fairness, any semi-educated monkey can track down sources and make phone calls. Local news is easy enough to cover without getting out of the office if you have contacts. If you've got a contact list of trustworthy sources, a computer, a phone and the ability to write something that is reasonably coherent, you've got a local newspaper without a press.

Newspapers have one big advantage in coverage, though: National and International. If you're writing a blog in California (and not getting paid for it) you probably can't afford to go (or send someone else) to Iran and cover what's happening. Newspapers and television can afford to do this. Does this mean that they're more qualified to cover this news? No. It just means that they have enough money to send people they find competent to cover what's happening.

But what newspapers fail to notice (and perhaps it's intentional) is that blogs have the ability to become legitimate news sources if they have reader support and funding. Really, blogs are just another medium for news. They can have editors, fact checkers, foreign correspondents, etc. If blogs can figure out how to make money and hire people, they can essentially become the new-newspaper. Sure, it isn't there now, but it can be there at some point and do it a hell of a lot faster than newspapers did.

WDR's 2 Year Anniversary Blowout Craptacular

So the time has come once again to mark another milestone for this blog. Two years have passed since we started this project, and man have things changed. We've had some laughs, shed some tears, and wrote at least four posts that lied about our current situations. Joe has settled down with three of his baby's mamas down in the hole that is LA, and Zhuang-o now has a fancy degree that enables him to work at The Daily Bugle where he has to get pictures of that damn Spider-man. I have gone from unemployed sack of shit to a rising 2L sack of shit. I mean, that's evolution man.

So what do we have to show for our 2 years in Web 2.0? Well, we're about to get our 20,000th visitor, and if they're anything like 83% of our visitors, they're sure to visit one particularly shameful post looking for dirty, dirty pictures. If it's not that, then it's some foreign dude looking for nutrition tips from Ronnie Coleman. Jesus fucking Christ, that guy has some random following. Strangely enough, we haven't had another search for "Banana Bread Rape", but we have had many people come away disappointed because they were looking for video of "Can you speak up? I'm wearing a towel." Sorry, it was only a quote.

Even though our postings have become more and more infrequent (we've barely cracked double digits this year), we haven't made up for it with an increase of quality. That's just the WDR way. I'd like to especially blame Joe for this, who not only hasn't posted in forever, but set up a Google Reader that was promised to compensate for his lack of posts, but lookey-here, that shit was updated only once since November.

Nonetheless, we will continue to persevere. I recently had a look at our first post, our Manifesto, and I felt we've accomplished our mission. We initially were cautious, and said it was subject to change, but I think it sums up our blog perfectly. Here's to hoping we continue to live up to it.

Hump Day Helper - The Sound of Our Elders Edition

Because it's Wednesday, and we all need a pick-me-up to make it through the rest of the week in our respective hells, WDR is providing some fun.


It's shaping up to be a pretty good summer in music, as many WDR faves prepare to release new albums. Good thing I'm an entire continent away from those happenings. Don't worry for me though, I'm sure I'll survive.

This week's selection is from one of the all-time greats, Sonic Youth, who once again released a kickass album last week. They've been on a roll lately, culminating with 2006's Rather Ripped. While that one is a favorite, even though it's almost a "Sonic Youth Unplugged" album, it's good to hear that they're back to letting things errr...rip. I'm sure that the one clerk from Fred Meyer who so far is the only person to realize that my "100% Dirty" shirt is a SY concert tee will appreciate it.

This video from a performance from a month ago, showing that even though these guys are in their fifties, they're still good to go. Plus, the host's name is Holland, so it seems especially fitting.

Got a foghorn and a drum and a hammer that's rockin'
And a cord and a pedal and a lock, that'll do me for now...

Notes ON Travel: Trans-Atlantic Tomfoolery

Hey, it's the return of that recurring series no on really pays attention to! This is surely the best way to recommence the blogging habit and pulling in the audience.


1. If you're going to be stuck in the middle seat, it might as well be on a Trans-Atlantic flight. You may think I'm kidding, but you'd be wrong. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG. Wrong. That's because those trans-Atlantic flights use non-shitty planes, that have such concepts foreign to your average commuter traveler as "legroom". And given the added convenience of free TV and movies, I was able to watch "30 Rock" and "How I Met Your Mother" episodes along with a neat Bollywood movie. This allowed me to only watch "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" as a final attempt to put me to sleep.

Plus, it didn't hurt that I was stuck between two beautiful ladies...that I didn't say a word to the entire flight.

2. If you're going to be stuck in an airport for a five-hour layover, make sure it's not the Frankfurt airport. Those goddamn Germans and their Teutonic efficiency--they made this aiport into a giant hallway, with only a couple of half-assed newsstands and duty-free shops that take up about 5 square feet. Their food choices are: random prepared-sandwiches, and other random prepared-sandwiches. At least I ended up finding the one set of benches without armrests to sleep for two and a half painful hours, but this was after traveling 2.3 miles in that godforsaken hellhole.


3. There is no scarier feeling than realizing you may have gotten on the wrong train in the middle of a foreign country. Luckily, this feeling only lasted 25 minutes--I randomly ended up on the correct train. But goddamn would I have been fucked with my limited knowledge of Dutch and my 10 weeks-worth of luggage.

4. Don't take a taxi in The Hague. I'm used to New York cabs being pretty cheap, never really having to pay more than a few dollars unless I'm headed to the airport. LA is different, since you're stuck in traffic for 2 hours and have to travel 30 miles to do anything. But taxi service in Den Haag is insane--the starting price is 7.50 euros, which is, if you're scoring at home, 10 dollars. STARTING PRICE. And then once that meter starts ticking, you're going to be paying top dollar. At least their cabbies are dressed in suits. Good to see my money being put to good use.

Nic Ouzo's Wild European Adventure

With Hijinx sure to ensue!

As Zhuang-o mentioned in his post, I'm spending the summer doing the whole Europe thing. Granted, I'll be doing a lot of work for my fancy-pants internship in the Netherlands, but there will be lots of traveling and and general no-goodery on the weekends. As Zhuang said, we may find that my summer ends up looking like the one good scene from Rules of Attraction.


I apologize for taking so long to write this post, but it's been a bitch getting internet wherever I'm staying. And I'm not going to risk alienating my employers by spending my work hours finding inappropriate pictures for this series. But lo and behold, the two weeks between my touchdown here in Holland and today I've had a wealth of stories suitable for mass consumption through this here blog. You'll hear about the strange cuisine available (Bacardi and Cola pre-mixed!), the strangeness of television here (late-night text-sex commercials!), and the stupidity of the Flemish language, among other things. It's going to fucking rock.

I've been knocking around ideas about using a "Freaky-Deaky" scale to document my experiences. Yes, Holland is just about as weird as you could imagine, so the scale is apropos. I'm just not sure what the measure should be--Gouda slices? Van Nistlerooys? Bacardi Colas? If you have an idea, mention it in the comments.