There is a design philosophy that if you want to change the look of your medium (magazine, newspaper, website, etc.) that you should make several small changes instead of one big change. The idea is that people won't notice the small changes (or will be more accepting of them) and, eventually, the medium reaches the same end: a new design. This also makes for less "Letter to the Editor" complaints from old people who "liked the old format just fine."
Here at WDR, we do not subscribe to this philosophy. We pretty much just go, "Oh, look: New templates and design options!" Then we fuck around with EVERYTHING. Which brings us to this entry. You may have noticed (unless you're new to the site) that there have been some changes to the format. In true WDR spirit, I doubt the current look will last all that long. But, I think we can make some serious progress on this thing if we put some effort into it.
Also, I'm proud to announce that WDR will be adding a new, semi-regular segment for reviewing dollar-bin albums. We've collected quite a few gems in the last few years and should have the first of these reviews up sometime tomorrow this week.
Because it's Wednesday, and we all need a pick-me-up to make it through the rest of the week in our respective hells, WDR is providing some fun.
WDR loves Halloween so much, that it would like to take it back behind the middle school and get it pregnant, despite the obvious constraints of Halloween not being an actual entity, but merely a concept. We of course laugh at such constraints, because we are not tied down by the laws of physics or logic. We exist beyond that crap. The point is, today we're going to combine two of our loves, music videos and Halloween (or, in other words, "weird shit").
In the past, we've showcased in our Hump Day Helper some strange videos, like Interpol's "Evil", and last week, we gave you a taste of the scary with a kickass song from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Now it's time for the main course, as we pick random videos that we enjoy as a collective whole and attempt poor commentary on why they make such worthy Halloween choices.
The Underrated Creepy Video Band We all know that Queens of the Stone Age has produced some of the most badass rock of the past decade (you will find their albums in constant rotation at WDR headquarters, especially R), but what has been overlooked is the crazy videos that these guys make. People remember the goofy Deer-Comes-Alive video of "No One Knows", but little else. What they're neglecting is stuff like the twisted cannibal horror of "Sick Sick Sick", the legitimately creepy violence of "Burn The Witch", and the terror that is a tranny scorned of this video, "Monsters In The Parasol".
Unfortunately, the scariest video of them all, "Everybody Knows That You're Insane", seems to be absent from the Interwebs. That being said, if you ever saw the original video with the deranged naked Japanese guy running around an apartment, you'd probably be scarred for some time.
The Ironic Scare Back in the day, this video seemed to scare people a lot. But these days, if they shot the video without all the makeup, but just as the performer is now, people would literally crap their pants in fear. That's all I'm going to say.
The Hipster Horror Video This song gets me pumped, and the video has a great style to it, from the grainy video quality to the ridiculous stop-motion attackers. Plus, the ending title cracks me up.
Gotta bust that box, gotta gut that fish!
The Video That Shows The Downfall Of The Second Album I'm including this video because it shows everything that went wrong with Sam's Town--overindulgence (see: giant gospel choirs and horns?!?!) and no sense of style. Plus, retardedly creepy lyrics--"Don't you wanna feel my bones on your bones" defies all previously held conceptions of terrible writing.
The Category for "I Know Too Much About Horror" We all know about Rob Zombie and his deal, and though I would much rather have a White Zombie video instead, we have to realize that this video was quite creepy to come across at 3 in the morning. Who said that a knowledge of horror movies was useless?
The "I Just Watched This A Minute Ago and I Had To Post It" Video Daft Punk are awesome, and though they venture quite often into the realm of the strange, they never had a video as terrifying as this one.
This is actually a Snuff Film Nine Inch Nails is of course very well known for their videos, though there was one set of videos that was deemed unworthy of airplay. Instead, it was sold on home video, where one could enjoy torture scenes and a trip down a toilet pipe in peace, with the fantastic ability to rewind. I'm only going to link to it, because frankly I don't want our blog to be investigated for anything. Mr. Zhuang has business contacts that the government DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT.
Instead, let's just watch the perfectly stylized horror that is "The Perfect Drug".
Trent Reznor has stated that he is not a fan of his video, but dammit, it's sweet. Plus, we didn't want to go with the obvious choice of "Closer", even in all of its uncensored glory--though strangely enough, I appreciated the "Scene Missing" titles for giving it an even more mysterious air)
The "Holy shit, what happened to our instruments" Video I will never turn down an opportunity to post this video.
Yes, it was only a dream. But Steve Perry's crotch has been the stuff of nightmares for years.
The WTF Video Thanks for the heads-up in the comments section for this one. Glowing eyes, Urine-soaked fencing masks, SPEEDOS AND GYMNASTS--Good Christ, this video is terrifying.
We'll need the Dan Band to clean up after that one.
The Known Known Tool is world-famous for their horrific, yet brilliant videos. The only problem was choosing which one to feature--do you go with the psychological trauma of "Prison Sex" or the purgatorial angst of "Sober"? You can't go wrong with the out-and-out weirdness of "Ænema". Well, I'm going to have to go with the videos which might be described as "Fun With Tumors" with naked people.
Mr. Zhuang's Choice Well, he's a connoisseur of the Manson, so this choice is all his. I remember "Sweet Dreams" terrifying me as a child, and though it was responsible for one of the 3 funny things that David Spade has ever said ("Satan called, and said your videos are giving him nightmares"), this one is truly creepy.
(Note from Mr. Zhuang: This song and video are based off of Marilyn Manson's recurring nightmares. This should explain why it's pretty damn creepy)
Joe Reefer's Choice Joe has led a terrifying life.
The Indisputable Champ There is one man to turn to when it comes for the scares, and it's a guy that lives in a hollowed out former bank and drives a tank (at least that's what I hear). While "Windowlicker" has its own special kind of horror, I'm going with the video that has a demon shouting at me that he will eat my soul, and evil midgets terrorizing old ladies. Now that's fucking scary.
Well, enjoy your Halloween, everybody. And please, feel free to let us know what we missed in the comments.
These are just a few more things that have come to my attention here:
1. People in Los Angeles don't seem to understand basic elevator etiquette. Seriously. Every time I'm in an elevator and I get to my destination (most frequently the bottom floor of my apartment building) I am greeted by a moderate swarm of mostly girls who don't seem to understand that you wait until the people inside the elevator get out before boarding yourself, rather than springing on the unsuspecting rider and packing him/her/them into the back of the car without any means to get out... seriously, I was almost late for class today because this happened and there was no way to get out before the elevator went back up to another floor. I had to ride the damn thing down all over again and push my way through another onslaught when I reached the first floor. Is it really that hard to understand that you let people off first? Seriously? Come on L.A. Get with the program.
As a side note, I have started taking a few countermeasures for this problem
Standing so close to the elevator door that my nose touches it, standing up perfectly straight, and staring blankly forward with my eyes as wide as possible... it usually freaks people out and thereby grants me enough time to get off the elevator while the swarmers step back in surprise/fear.
Making a loud/painful screech just before the doors open
Pretending to zip my pants up and wiping a hand on the door as soon as it opens
Leaving my backpack at the front of the elevator, thereby tripping those too anxious to ride the sweet, sweet elevator.
2. My roommate failed his online alcohol education course 5 times.
Seriously. I didn't know this was even possible. I took shots to this damn thing while I was taking it and went through approximately one whole fifth of rum. I still passed the first time without any effort at all. He failed so many times the site stopped working, and he is unable to log back in. I am 100% baffled.
3. My hallway is so dead they have earned my wrath in the form of ironic music choice. Everyone in my hall is dead quiet. Seriously. I haven't seen or heard anything from anyone. I know it's an 'apartment' (dormpartment) and all, but still... introduce yourselves, people. Nobody even has whiteboards out for me to leave a note on, or possibly penis. So, I retaliate by blasting music that is unabashedly ironic for someone on one of America's richest campuses: Dead Kennedys (Kill the Poor), Rage Against The Machine (Take the Power Back), ... etc
I have yet to receive any comment from anyone.
4. When people here put a hilarious mustache on the sign for their store, expect the clerk/owner of that store to posses that exact mustache.
There is no way for me to convey how funny this story was... suffice it to say the guy's mustache a thing of legend. Also, he got bonus points for having a portrait of Zapata on his wall. ... I don't think I got any bonus points for going "ZAPATA!" upon entering.
5. Miller beer is disgusting, yet also disgustingly cheap.
Seriously. $12 for a 24-pack, and my roommate is buying. ... it's been "Miller time" pretty often these past few days.
Also:
3-Olives O'clock
Tequila Tuesday
Hump day Hefeweizen
SoCo Saturday
Jaeger.... uh, we don't actually have one for this one, it's just good...
