1. Pretty People Don't Ride the Bus. All the pretty girls go to the city, but when they're there, they're not using the bus. I have theories--mainly that pretty people end up being more successful, so they end up affording a car, or people fall over themselves trying to help them out, so they never need a ride. And just so you know:
A. Pretty People Don't Ride the Bus.
B. I rode the bus.
which means C. I am not pretty.
The math is solid, you can't argue this shit.
2. School Bus Drivers are way more awesome than public bus drivers. Public bus drivers don't have time for your shit, and fuck you if you can't fit the damn dollar through the slot. And they're not dealing with your non-exact change ass.
3. Don't trust the music options in a taxi. My first experience in a cab in DC was nice--the old guy had it on the alternative station, and I went to the airport singing along to the Smashing Pumpkins' "1979". After that, it varied from droning Indian music to an infomercial-book-on-tape to something so horrible my brain just shut off and I can't even remember.
4. Trains suck. Don't bother with them. And the people that ride them suck. If you need this explained to you, you obviously have not dealt with trains.
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