Why We Have To Destroy Mr. Zhuang

It's not often that a member of WDR wishes ill upon a co-worker, much less desires to institute physical harm. So something quite dramatic has to have occurred for a bounty to be placed on one of our heads. And just such an event this past weekend.


Ever since we saw Batman Begins a few summers ago, we've been giddy with anticipation for the inevitable sequel. It was basically a perfect storm of our interests: Mr. Zhuang is a pretty big comics-head, while Joe is a superfan of Batman in general, and as for myself, I've been a dedicated follower of Begins director Christopher Nolan for some time now. And when Zhuangy made a post about a year ago with a sneak-peek at the New Joker, well, we were quite pumped.

So you can imagine how excited we were for the opening of The Dark Knight. Not only was it going to live up to the "dark" part of its title (always a good sign), but there was incredible buzz behind Heath Ledger's performance. So Joe and I were all set to head down to Eugene and enjoy the new flick "ensemble", picking up Mr. Zhuang along the way.

And what does the fucker do? He goes and watches the movie without us. At 4 in the afternoon.

Now we would have easily forgiven our friend for this trespass if he had gone in for the midnight sneak preview the night before. But going in the middle of the afternoon? To see freakin' Batman? That simply could not stand. So Mr. Zhuang must pay, even more so since we saw the movie (it was awesome, to say the least). If you see him, hit him with a tire iron or something. We'll pay you back in Jujubes.

It's 2008--WHY CAN'T I TELEPORT?!?!

Well, another year has come and gone. Another year that saw no flying cars, no one-pill meals, and most importantly, no teleportation. Honestly, it's as if scientists are doing diddly-squat these days. Stem cells? Hydrogen Power? All nonsense. Get me a damn teleportation module, then you can fritter your time away on things like "improving health" and "alternative energy".

And with that gloriously retarded introduction, that should be a cue as good as any that the geniuses that run WDR are back and ready to go. We'll be sure to provide the latest in inside jokes, inane commentary, and supremely controversial nonsense, in conjunction with random attempts at seriousness, therefore defeating our attempts to be both humorous and informative in one fell swoop. If you can't appreciate our schizophrenic nature, then please feed us our meds. They fell outside of our cages. We'd really appreciate the help.



And for all the people that arrive to our site just to look at the pictures from our AIDS-Hot post, welcome and enjoy your visit. For those of you who came here because you were apparently researching "banana bread rape"*, well, please seek help. I don't even want to know the context of that search.

*actual search term used to find our site

So what do you have to look forward to in the new year from the WDR crew?

1. More posts from Joe Reefer. You asked for it, and you will get it. If not, Joe will know the business-end of my cattle prod all too well (that's right Joe, I ended up actually buying one. Fear the prod).
2. Posts that were previously promised will come to fruition. What will that include? A thesis on Honey Bunches of Oats, A Day in the Life of The Penguin, and more pointless lists.
3. Mr. Zhuang's ancient Chinese secrets.
4. More goofy pictures.
5. More drinking.

So there you go. 2008 is going to kick ass. It's certainly gonna be better than 2007. After all, the only thing that came out in 2007 was this stupid site. All we ask is that you leave comments--they're sure to be better than whatever crap we actually post.