Apparently black people and women are stupid

More political crap

So the conventions are almost over and it's almost time for the debates. It's almost finalized (minus some formalities) that John McCain and Barack Obama will duke it out for the presidency with the help of Sarah Palin and Joe Biden, respectively.

But the questions coming from the news coverage is something like this: "Are women ready to support Palin?" and "Obama gives black republicans heartburn."

I think the real issue is that these blanket assumptions are being made. There seems to be this idea that democrat women will throw all of their values out the window to support Sarah Palin because Sarah Palin has a vagina. Furthermore, it makes the assumption that black republicans will throw their values out the window and vote for Barack Obama because he's black. And I guess that black women are just REALLY confused...

Do we seriously think that people are that stupid? I mean, yes, some people ARE that stupid, but I would like to think that a majority of Americans are not that stupid and/or shallow. I would like to think that people take REAL ISSUES into account when they decide who to vote for. I'd like to think that maybe, just maybe, people will make the right decisions based on what really matters to them, not just gender and race.

Then again, maybe I'm wrong...

Either way, the end of this election will be something new: We'll either have our first black president or our first woman vice president.

Honey Bunches of Oats is the Worst Cereal Ever Made

Yet I eat it just about every day.

You may ask yourself, why would I continue to eat a cereal that I clearly have little regard for? That's simply the wrong question to ask. A better question might be "Do BMX riders realize that you can't be badass when you're riding what amounts to be a bike for a six year-old?", though it would probably not be pertinent to the question at hand. Then again, if being relevant was your only concern, then yes, I guess, your initial question was fine.

The problem isn't with the taste of the cereal itself--no, it's the context beyond the cereal. That's because when you're eating "Honey Bunches of Oats", you're now eating "Old Man Cereal". Remember when you were young, the crazy shit you'd eat in your cereal? Shit, they put in fucking Oreo cookies and jelly beans and probably little chocolate donuts in cereals these days. But the day you stop eating Froot Loops is the day that you're called things like "mature" or people refer to you as "sir", like "Sir, that is not appropriate clothing for the Roadside Steak Shack, we must ask you to leave." I mean, since when did the Steak Shack have standards, any way?

And Honey Bunches of Oats doesn't help itself with their advertising. "With Almonds!" is a terrible selling point. Only old dudes get excited about nuts in their food, further cementing your reputation as an old man cereal. Plus, your cereal gets soggy as shit when I put milk in it, further destroying my mood and turning me into the old man that I apparently am.



However, Honey Bunches of Oats apparently now realizes that the only good thing about their cereal is the bunches. I don't know why it took them so long to realize that the one sweet part of the cereal was way better than soggy fucking cornflakes, but I'm guessing there aren't many geniuses at the Cereal Plant. So they've now decided to release a cereal called "Just Bunches". Color me excited--that's going to get me through the terror of 1L, I'll tell you that much (I'm being totally serious, you guys).

I remember I had a good joke about "Just Bunches", but I forgot it. If Mr. Zhuang or Joe decide to ever find this blog again, maybe they'll chime in with their answer.

More Proof That Americans Lack Basic Critical Thinking Skills

I'm burning diesel, burning dinosaur bones


We're pretty much in Campaign '08's silly season, with discussions about Paris Hilton and the ability to be a "secret Muslim" dominating the political discourse in the media. The one serious issue that actually has had some movement has been that of energy, mainly in the form of high gas prices. In the tradition of the Democratic/Republic breakdown of the party divide as being the party of no ideas vs. the party of bad ones, we have the McCain "solution" for the present high gas prices of offshore drilling for oil. And in the tradition of Americans not looking beyond the superficial merits of the case, we have the people supporting such an action by a 2 to 1 margin.

This is all despite the fact that:

1). The economic effect (at least in terms of gas prices) will be distant and minimal. What it boils down to is percentages and supply/demand curves not remaining static. Percentages in that the oil available offshore represents such a small percentage of world oil production, that it amounts to a negligible effect on world supply. As for supply and demand, one has to realize that the demand curve is only going to get sharper as other countries continue to develop (namely, China and India), so the effects of such a small increase in supply are negated even more.

2). Claims of "energy independence" are bullshit, because oil is sold on the world market. All that theoretical oil being pumped off of California or Florida is not guaranteed to stay in the US; it's just going to be sold to the highest bidder, regardless of location. So all this tough talk of not depending on the Saudis and so on and working on energy ourselves goes out the window.

3). The issue is not about drilling, it's about leases. As the Democratic leaders have tried to stress, there's no hold on drilling--it's just drilling in particular areas. Oil companies own leases to areas around the country that are double that of the area they're now angling for. Instead, the oil companies are taking advantage of the political situation, knowing full well that this is their last best chance to get their hands on these leases--because that's where the money is.

But that's not the part of the poll that bothers me. No, it's the fact that half of the people surveyed didn't believe that drilling would lower gas prices. That means there is at least 16 or so percent of people that are willing to drill for oil...without any potential benefit to them! The number may be even higher than that, since there are sure to be some environmentalist-types that are dead-set against drilling, even it provided such benefits.

Who are these people, and what happened to their brains?

Stuff That You Should Be Aware Of: Taste Test Edition

If you know any of the men behind WDR, you would be quite familiar with our various attempts at food experimentation, in all its various forms. In fact, we co-authored a study on the various permutations of "Skittlebräu", where we discovered that Sprite Remix provided the most consistent results, and that if you dropped the Skittles in certain SoBe flavors, you would create the hardest substance this side of a diamond. Not only do we seek interesting combinations, but we are always looking out for the bizarre. If we see something strange, we pick it up--that's how we know of the awesomeness of Ol' Glory Energy Drink (a key ingredient of the "Flag Burner"), or all the 27 varieties of Kit-Kat bars that they've come up with in the past 18 months.

While we pride ourselves in our abilities, we have to tip our hat when others do a better job. The A.V. Club has an excellent running series of "Taste Tests" that provide hilarious reactions to various oddball items that hit the storeshelves. But this week's entry takes the cake: Cheeseburger In A Can. I shit you not. And the consensus was what you'd expect--absolutely delicious.

While you should read the whole entry yourself, I'd also like to point to a link that somebody posted to in the comments: Steve, Don't Eat It! Steve has apparently tried the most terrifying food products imaginable, the kind of things that you gloss over without a second look, or just feed to your dog. Plus, you learn things, like how to make your very own Prison Wine! See, WDR is also about the children--we educate!