Charlotte Sometimes is not Cypress Hill

In fact, who the fuck is she?

One thing is for certain, Charlotte Sometimes is not Cypress Hill. So it's understandable that I would be confused when I saw a video of her title "How I could Just Kill a Man."

I don't know how this managed to happen, but it did. I just stumbled upon it and I don't know what to think. Then again, I am also REALLY hung-over.

Oregon Matters!

The one (and only) benefit to the drawn-out Democratic Primary campaign has been the attention paid to some, ahem, lesser states. And Oregon certainly fits that bill. It's about time that people learn the finer points of...timber payments? And have the media visit such illustrious locales as...Albany. And Pendelton. Because THIS is America, fuck yeah.

At least we had a brief bit of national attention to our quirky little state. Granted, most of this occurred around 11 p.m. Eastern Time, but at least we got all the insomniacs on the up and up about the O-Regon. Everyone had a crash course in the total awesomeness that is the vote-by-mail system that we have in place; words like "sophisticated" and "efficient" were thrown around, especially as we had 50% of the vote counted within an hour, the kind of terms not usually associated with Oregonians. And we also had the great delight to hear CNN's John King refer to Salem as a "college town". Of course, people that are familiar with the area would probably call it a town full of old people and meth heads, but who's to quibble?



We also learned that even though Oregon is waaaaaaaay white, we are apparently "affluent" and "educated". This would be news to 97% of Oregonians, but then again, when you're competing against Kentucky, it's hard NOT to look impressive. And the fact that most rural, white, hard-working Oregonians voted for Mr. Obama means absolutely nothing, because Kentucky went so hard the other way.

That's the story of Oregon: Always overshadowed by Kentucky. Damn you, Colonel, and your delicious herbs and spices!

Why We Shouldn't Care About West Virginia

There's a reason why Deadspin always refers to The Mountain State as West Fuckin' Virginia (wait a minute, that's their nickname? Goddamn, that'll just about prove every point I'm going to make from here on out). And it's not a compliment, folks.

No, West Virginia is the kind of state where this happens. That's right, over 60% of the voters in West Virginia thought that Hillary's "Gas Tax Holiday" idea was a bang-up idea, good show, and all that. In West Virginia, they don't care that EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN ECONOMIST says it's a failure of an idea, and that anyone who has spent more than...3 seconds thinking about the idea also realizes this is the case.

I think the fact that West Virginia not only voted for Bush once, but TWICE, should indicate the level of intelligence of the electorate there. But for once, Bush has the right words to say about that kind of thinking:

No Talent Ass-Clowns United in Marriage!

Good God, WHY?!

Yes, I saw this up on CNN today. Most times I really don't give a shit about celebrity weddings, celebrity gossip, etc. But this one really snagged me because it was so fucking aggravating.

Why is it that these people get to be rich? It's not like ONE of them has talent and the other doesn't. Neither of them have talent! Pete Wentz won't even try to play a decent sounding bass. He's rich as fuck and he won't even take that TINY FUCKING STEP. None of these people deserve what they have. They are a drain on society.

Not that this is anything new, really, but it doesn't make it any less aggravating. Especially when you musicians like Dan Schmid (bassist for the Cherry Poppin' Daddies) who have to make their living selling me tater-tots and beer. The roles should really be reversed here, but they aren't. Seriously, tip the man.

But I guess there is a bright side here: Stupidity is together with stupidity and thus more likely to get itself killed in some freakishly stupid way. God help us if they reproduce...

The Down And Dirty That Is Oregon Politics

Having grown up in Louisiana, I am no stranger to shady politics and backroom deals. Hell, we invented dirty politics, folks. But when Louisiana-style politics come to Oregon, well that's a story. Hell, these kind of tactics would make Huey Long blush.

This year in Oregon we have a particularly contentious race in the 5th Congressional District, which happens to be my home district. In 2006, I was a volunteer coordinator for the incumbent, Darlene Hooley, and sure enough we defeated her challenger, one Mike Erickson. But with Darlene's retirement at the end of her term, the 5th is once again in play. In an area where party registration is nearly equal, both sides are eager to get their hands on the seat.

Whereas the Democratic side is filled with a laundry-list of no-names, there are two heavy hitters for the Republicans. There's the aforementioned Erickson, who managed to at least get over 40% of the vote, and longtime Oregon politician, the infamous Kevin Mannix. Oregonians know well of his shenanigans over the years, but lately has been a big loser in the state-wide offices he sought. Even though he lost state-wide, he managed to win the area of the 5th each time, meaning that the race was going to be competitive.

And it's been neck-and-neck for some time, which means it was time to get dirty. Mike "Because I'm a Cowboy"* Erickson lobbed the first volley, playing the old "you voted to increase taxes" card, which in GOP circles is almost as bad as gay-marrying a terrorist (*the "Cowboy" reference is an inside-the-campaign joke that we had--it really means absolutely nothing, but is fucking hilarious anyway). How does Mannix respond to these fairly benign charges? With this letter.

This letter has it all: Affairs, Abortions, Cocaine, and...HOUSEBOATS?!?!



That's right, a week before ballots are due, Mannix pulls the old "my opponent paid for a secret abortion and had wild houseboat cocaine parties card". I think Buddy Roemer pulled that one in '88, except the houseboat was a pirogue in his case. And since blanket denials by the press secretary of the Erickson campaign isn't enough, the local papers are all over this like flies on shit. Proof? Who has time for that! Of course, the most amusing part about the coverage has been the focus on the secret abortion, and not the wild COCAINE PARTIES ON HOUSEBOATS. How is that NOT the most interesting part of the letter?

Man, leave it to the press to miss a good story entirely.

Thirsty Thursday!

Because let's face it: You probably have to do something tomorrow, but you're going to get drunk anyway.

Not that this really has anything to do with drinking, I just couldn't think of a title that included "Thursday" with much, how you say, pizzaz. "Thoroughfare Thursday"? That doesn't work. "Thoron Thursday"? Not that one either. See? No good names for it.

Anyway, I'm putting this post up because I just watched this video for Flight of the Conchords, and it was hilarious. Yeah, I've heard it before and watched the show on DVD a bunch, but still: Fun times. Now get out there with some rollerskates and enjoy the sun!

Hump day Helper -- DUEL! Edition

Because it's Wednesday, and we all need a pick-me-up to make it through the rest of the week in our respective hells, WDR is providing some fun.

I have been listening to Apologies to the Queen Mary religiously for the past month, and it has affected my day-to-day life. I'm constantly singing random keyboard noodlings, let out random yelps, and am concerned with the impact of ghosts on my daily life. I have also realized that in a year with some spectacular releases (Z, Silent Alarm, for example), this debut will be remembered as one of the great albums of 2005. And now that I have a bootleg copy of their upcoming June release, I'll only have more opportunity to get obsessed with Wolf Parade. How can you not love a band that writes "Now we'll say it's in God's hands/But God doesn't always have the best goddamn plans, does he?"

For the video selection, I decided to go with this goofy take on 17th century chivalry. Maybe it's because I recently saw Barry Lyndon, but I really dig the goofy take on the practice of dueling. The performance of a chicken halfway through the video also makes it a particularly memorable video. As for a description of the music, think of a more psychedelic version of Modest Mouse taking on the theme from Cheers. If that doesn't strike you (though it should), perhaps you should sample a song done by the group's other vocalist, like "Modern World" (and enjoy a goofy video while you're at it).

Give me your eyes
I need sunshine...

An Epic Journey To The Big Screen

Nominated for 0 Oscars, not even a freakin' Golden Globe


Have you ever traveled 50 miles to go see a movie? Have you ever done it twice in a weekend, to see the same movie no less?

That's exactly what I did this past weekend. Yes, I am aware of the Price of Gas, and no, I'm not completely insane. Perhaps I should explain myself--even though that's exactly what a crazy person would say (and I still defend myself from these ridiculous charges!).

I think one of the biggest qualifiers that defends my actions is the movie in question; it's not merely a movie, but a film of the highest order: Lawrence of Arabia. Not only a fantastic work of art, but one that nearly requires it to be seen on the Big Screen (much like say, 2001: A Space Odyssey and that other movie that people say, but I probably saw it on my medium-sized TV and I was pleasantly satisfied). When Lawrence of Arabia is playing a limited weekend run on the big screen, and you have no other prior plans, there's really no reason why you shouldn't go. In fact, you'd be an asshole not to go. That's right, you'd be an asshole. There, I said it--I'm looking in your direction, Frank. Wanna fight about it?



The fact that it was Lawrence of Arabia had added significance as well. For months now, I had been meaning to watch it again, since the only time I had seen it was on TV when I was eight, and the only thing I can remember was...sand. Lots and lots of sand. Since I've made an effort in the past year to really dive into The Art of Film, I couldn't have a blind spot like this in my education. However, I had neglected to rent it every time, because I knew that I would end up falling asleep on the couch, no matter what. But the blind spot eventually caught up to me.

I recently accompanied my friend (and occasional contributor to WDR) Von Bookman to a Trivia Night up at Harvard, and had acquitted myself rather well, proving that Dartmouth men know a little bit beyond drinking Keystone Lights and degrading women. Like anagrams! Clint Eastwood is Old West Action indeed. Actually, I had proven myself to be quite an asset to our little team, and we were in striking distance of capturing the title for the night. We had come to the last question, and we had to bet the maximum to potentially win. What 227-minute 1962 epic had no speaking parts for women?

My answer for the team: Spartacus. Result: FAILURE.



You can probably determine what the correct answer was, and I felt great shame in bringing such dishonor to my alma mater. And it turns out that Spartacus had speaking parts for women, so that means I should probably watch that one again.

So I had the additional motivation of making up for my past mistake and actually setting out to watch the film. You can bet I'll always remember that trivia question. And with a theater in Port Land playing the film less than a week after I arrived back on the West Coast, I could only take it as a sign that I needed to watch it. So I made the trip, one that I had only done once before (to see There Will Be Blood before it would hit wide release a month later) and shit yeah, it was worth it. I spent nearly four hours in awe, and not even the guy two rows back and 10 seats over whose snoring drowned out some key dialogue could have ruined it.

Oh, and you may ask, why did I make the trip twice? Because I got lost finding the theater the first time. Thanks for bringing that up, asshole.

All the shit I haven't posted because I've been busy as hell

Or perhaps some better title...

It's been a while since I posted a blog on this and I feel the need to do so now because I have time. I've spent the last few weeks in Eastern Africa , running from crocodiles. It was a pretty intense ride, but I managed to make it back in one piece back home.



A lot has been going on that I've wanted to post about, so Let's get started!

Obama Came to UO Again

And this time I was there for it. Unlike the previous appearance, this one was outside and involved a lot more people. It also helped that the "street fair" was in town and I could feast on elephant ears and corn dogs while the man spoke. I could sort of see him from where I was, but it wasn't until a journalism colleague of mine with an awesome zoom lens offered me a look through his camera that I was able to see that it was, in fact, Obama. The audio was running strong, though, so I was still able to hear the whole speech. There was also an appearance from my homie D-Faz, who went toe-to-toe on the mike with Obama himself.

Now, I know that political speeches are mostly bullshit, but this guy has it down. If he can do half the shit he says, it's worth the vote. What I really got out of it was that this guy has the conviction to TRY to make things work. And while people pull the bullshit "not enough experience" card, let me just say that it can work to his advantage. Maybe he's still pretty well in touch with the wants and needs of people, compared to the opposition. Or maybe I got a beer with the guy afterwards and thought he was pretty cool.* Whatever the case, he's got my vote.

New NEW Nine Inch Nails!

Yes, this needed to be posted. The new NIN album, The Slip, was released online as a free download. Let's just say that this made me a very happy camper. I could go on, but I'm pretty sure you know what I'll say anyway. Awesome.

Stephen Malkmus

I saw Stephen Malkmus on the 30th of April, and I must say that it was pretty awesome. Not only did I have front and center position in an already small venue, but I also got to talk to the man himself. Oh, and the ticket was free. The show was a hell of a lot better than the last time Nic and I saw him perform and a buddy of mine who has seen Malkmus several times said it was the best performance he's seen, too. The show went for almost two hours and it was all worth it.

Iron Man

I just saw Iron Man today and I was very pleased. Iron Man was not one of the comics I really got into as a kid, but the story is pretty cool. When I found out that Robert Downey Jr. would be playing Iron Man, I thought "This could be pretty cool." It was an interesting choice considering Downey's struggles with substance abuse and that of the character Tony Stark in the film. Then I noticed that Jeff Bridges was also in the film and that Jon Favreau was directing. It just got better and better. Then, when I watched the film itself, I discovered that it starred someone that made the movie even more awesome.

Tom Morello.

I won't tell you anymore about this, but let's just say this made me very happy. Also, Tom lends a hand on the soundtrack with "additional guitar." So check this one out. Awesome.

Also, Robert Downey Jr. has some pretty funny facial hair throughout the movie (the "is that painted on?" mustache) and Jeff Bridges is the bald bad guy.

You've got to see it.

And...

That's about it. I need to go grab some brews for my roomie's birthday.

God's Limited Set of Blueprints: Campaign 2008 Edition

We're big fans of politics around here, so we spend a lot of time checking out the coverage on the various cable news outlets. Often times this leads to righteous indignation (see our post on the coverage of the Pennsylvania primary), and justly so. But this is not always the case.



One of the bright spots of the campaign coverage has been the introduction of Chuck Todd, MSNBC's resident number-cruncher and Delegate-Guru. He knows his stuff when it comes to how the delegates shake out, but he also realizes that this isn't a big deal--it's really not all that hard to plug in a couple of percentages and getting a delegate count. In other words, he'll lighten up on occasion and realize that when he's expounding on the meaning surrounding the numbers, it's generally bullshit.

But during his time on the air, I couldn't help but wonder where did this guy come from, and where had I seen him before. Then during Tuesday's coverage, it hit me.



Chuck Todd is clearly just a pseudonym for Dante Hicks. I for one am glad to see that he's advanced beyond Clerkdom and has left the world of Mooby's/Quick Stop for the glamor that is MSNBC.

The best part of this realization was that as Tuesday's coverage continued into the late night, Chuck was clearly getting pissed. At some point during the night, especially during the goofy lounge setup of the After Hours segment, he had just about enough. As Joe pointed out, we were about two seconds away from Chuck exclaiming "I wasn't even supposed to be here today!" Only then would this abomination of a campaign have been worth it.

Hump Day Helper - Un Chien Andalusia Edition

Because it's Wednesday, and we all need a pick-me-up to make it through the rest of the week in our respective hells, WDR is providing some fun.

Alright, well I'm heading back to the West Coast after an extended sojourn in Boston, and what better way to close it out by playing a video from Boston's Greatest, The Pixies. Not only is the band empirically great (many scientific formulas have been created that can attest to this), but the band is a big favorite of each of the contributors around here. So I'm sure that this choice will be met with universal acclaim.

So I'll let the Pixies take it away, as they describe what it's like to see one fucked-up movie, man.

I wanna grow up to be, be a debaser...

Deconstructing Pennsylvania

Once everyone forgot about it...


It is usually best to analyze events once a certain amount of time has passed, so that one can fully take in what has happened and process it. You know, gain some perspective. Of course, this flies in the face of the mantra of Cable News and Media Punditry, who thrive in the world of Insta-Analysis and Whiplash Judgments, so the idea of "perspective" may seem crazy to some of you. But here at WDR, we thrive on the crazy, so we're bringing you analysis...two weeks later. When everyone is concerned about two other states.

The immediate story that everyone picked up on was the fact that with a double-digit win in Pennsylvania, Hillary Clinton had proven that Barack Obama is an intrinsically weak candidate who was destined for failure, and that she had the keys to victory in November. The momentum was now moving in her direction, and we had a new game on our hands. Of course, this was a narrative that while interesting, didn't really mesh with what happened in reality.


First off, Clinton did not win by double digits. Since the media doesn't seem to understand the principles of rounding numbers, most didn't realize that by rounding Hillary's numbers up and by rounding Obama's numbers down, they artificially inflated the distance between their numbers--turning a 9.2% victory into a magical double-digit 10& victory. There's a huge psychological difference between winning by double digits versus single, and Hillary shouldn't have been able to play that up in the days after the primary.

Clinton also loved to play up the underdog angle in Pennsylvania, and the media was willing to eat it up. While in terms of national numbers (and in the progress of the entirety of the campaign) this may be true, that was definitely not the case in the state itself. Nearly two months before the primary, Hillary's lead in the state was mammoth, somewhere in the range of 25%. The fact that Obama was able to chip it all the way down to 9%, during a time in which he was hammered from all sides on various controversies, says more about the failings of Clinton than it does of Obama.

The other overlooked aspect of Clinton's initial advantage in the state was the support that she had by all the top party brass in the state. She had the support of Governor Ed "Eddie Rendazzo" Rendell, an incredibly popular figure in the state, and the support of the Mayor of Philadelphia, among others. This built-in advantage was a key factor in her win, and was too much for Obama to potentially overcome.


The other big story was the issue of capturing the "white working-class vote". Who knew that White Men held any power in the United States? That sure caught me by surprise, boy howdy. Why couldn't Obama latch onto these voters? This of course overlooks the fact that Obama did well in such locales known for their diversity, like Idaho and Maine. The reality is that Obama does not generally have a problem with whites per se. It is just that Hillary Clinton is like the Andromeda Strain of race politics--she only can work within a narrow range of minority populations. The real problem demographic that Obama has had trouble with is voters over 65--if you look at the results across the nation, he consistently loses by huge margins to this group. Of course, when he actually brought this fact up, it was dismissed. Nothing like letting the facts get in the way of a good story.

But perception is often reality, and Hillary was able to use Pennsylvania as a jumpstart to her Quixotic campaign, at least in the media's eyes. We now had to see what the problem was with Obama, pushing the story that "he can't close this one out". Of course, this discounts the fact that Obama's opponent is an incredibly able politician with millions of people who support her--it's difficult to turn off a faucet that powerful, in other words.



In the end, we'll forget all about Pennsylvania and these two weeks leading up to Indiana and North Carolina, as we realize that all along Hillary only had Joementum, not momentum. And Joementum is no way to win a campaign.