Transformers: Robots in disguise! (Based on Hasbro Transformer Action Figures)

It seems that the local Regal Cinemas has just had a showing of the long-awaited (citation needed) action film "Transformers." It also seems that for whatever reason, I have seen it.

Now you may be thinking to yourself, "Isn't Transformers supposed to come out on the 4th of July?" or, perhaps more importantly, "Why is a self-respecting 22 year old going to see 'Transformers'?" The answer to the first question is "I don't know" and the answer to the second question is "it cost me $1.50 and I was bored out of my mind." Oh, that and I don't have television, so I have to settle with the next most American thing to do, and that is to mindlessly spend money.

So, how was this cinematic masterpiece? Well, from what I've heard it was definitely better than "Spider-Man 3" and it involved robots. It was actually a lot better than I was expecting, but I was kind of expecting it to suck balls. But for a movie that boasts "Based on Hasbro Transformer Action Figures," (I'm not making this up) it was pretty damn good. Sure dialogue was pretty goofy ("Hello, I'm the Secretary of Defense."-Jon Voight, addressing workers at the Pentagon), and the story only made sense in an "action-figure-blowing-shit-up" kind of way, but when that's what you want to see, it works. Let's not forget that there was also a special appearance by the always awesome John Turturro (Nobody fucks with the Jesus!).

And I think it's also overlooked that such a film can be a learning experience. I learned that the only person that doesn't sound like an idiot saying "Megatron" or "Optimus Prime" is Bill Curtis. I also learned that Jon Voight looks a hell of a lot better than the current Secretary of Defense. I also learned, perhaps most importantly, that Megan Fox is HOT. Holy shit.



Actually, come to think of it, I think I knew this stuff all along. Oh well...