So tonight I was doing the American thing and watching my television. A peculiar thing caught my ears as a new Pedigree dog food commercial started to air....
Is that David Duchovny trying to sell me dog food??
The sad truth is that I'm fairly certain it was David Duchovny trying to sell me dog food, and I have only one thing to say.... Say it ain't so, David. Has it really come to this? Your once illustrious X-Files career tainted with this... well let's just say 'likely-tainted' dog food?
The only solace I find in this quandary is that perhaps it was not in fact David Duchovny, but rather someone imitating his voice for the commercial. There was no mention of his name, nor did it appear in fine print at any point. So, maybe someone was just attempting to steal some of the age-faded Duchovny glory for their dog food empire. I've actually been wondering the same thing about the new Wendy's commercials that seem to feature Zach Braff. I don't worry so much about these, however, because Zach Braff is... let's face it... not even half the man that David Duchovny is. Mr. Braff plays a fine character on Scrubs, but honestly - he's too full of himself to be type-cast and spend the rest of his career doing something he's good at, so he'll probably blow his whole life trying to get a serious role just to prove his career isn't a joke. That will be a spectacular failure. The only other foreseeable option is that he will decide he is a director and his movies will flop worse than the real-life freeing of Keiko's willy.
For the record, while The Wayne Diego Report is also for Dogs, it is not against the Whales or the Trees as Pedigree seems to be. Additionally, The Wayne Diego Report is not for Dog Days, as Pedigree explicitly claims to be. The Wayne Diego Report is in fact against Dog Days. Please, Join us in our fight.
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