My encounter with a hockey great

AKA: Why do people want to fight me?

So I was at a place called the Jackalope Lounge tonight, and things were going well. The beer was flowing like wine, the music was good and everyone was having a good time. It came time for me to buy a round of drinks, and as I approached the bar there was some sort of commotion. There was a man getting very angry about something related to his bill, and his being drunk didn't help matters. It was during this argument that I observed something very interesting. This man look a heck of a lot like Wayne Gretzky circa 1992. He was also wearing a shark tooth necklace, which I can only assume was there to make him look stupid. I was in the midst of a legend. A stupid, drunken legend.

And after several moments of unpleasant noise, Gretzky yells at the bartender, "Well, I'm never coming to this place AGAIN!"

At first I was pleased to be able to order my next round of drinks, but then things changed. Without regard for anyone else, Wayne Gretzky ran into me, and the following exchange occured:

Me: What the fuck dude?
Gretzky: What's your problem?
Me: You ran into me!
Gretsky's girlfriend: But we just got ripped off (by the bar)!
Me: Well, guess what: I didn't rip you off. You should watch where you're going.
Gretzky: What the fuck is your problem?!
Me: You shouldn't run into people without at least some sort of half hearted apology.
Gretzky's girlfriend: You just poked a bear. You don't want to mess with HIM.
Me: Wouldn't be the first time.
Gretzky: You wanna start something?
Me: No, I just rather you didn't run into me. Just settle down, dude.
Gretzky: The fucking bar ripped me off!
Me: Well, I've been ripped off before too. It fucking sucks, but I don't go taking it out on other people. Just calm the fuck down.
Gretzky's girlfriend: You're poking a BEAR!
Me: You know what, if you want to fight over something like this, go ahead. I don't want to fight. Just settle down. You don't need to be a dick to other people like that. I don't mean to be a dick to you, but you shouldn't take out your frustrations on bystanders.

And it was after that that drunken asshole Wayne Gretzky circa 1992 apologized. I shook his hand, told him to stop being a dick, and bought some booze. Then we shook hands and parted ways.

He and his friends said a few other things, but they're not really worth mentioning because it was all regular drunk talk. I'm not really sure what the "bear" reference meant, especially considering that the guy wouldn't fight ME. He couldn't be that tough. I mean, come on: I don't exactly look like Ronnie Coleman. I guess I can only assume that this was some reference to this guy's place in the gay community. Not that there's anything wrong with that.