Notes on Travel #4: Bumblefuck, Northwest

This week I took a trip out into the middle of Eastern Washington to visit The Sister in her collegiate setting. Like me, she chose to go to school right plum fucking in the middle of nowhere, except she made the unfortunate decision to go to one in the middle of the desert. So in addition to schoolwork and social pressures, she has to face the possibilities of attacks from coyotes, rattlesnakes, and mountain lions. All I had to deal with was the remote possibility of a wandering J.D. Salinger.

And now, the random observations from the trip.

1. Your personalized vanity plate may reveal more than you would like I don't make a habit of paying attention to license plates, but somehow I noticed the vehicle with the "2IN LUV" plates. My initial reaction was "Hey man, if you're comfortable with revealing the length of your love like that, all the more power to you." Then I realized that this was probably not the intention.

2. I want an electric harmonica I don't know how this would work, or what the point of it would be. But it just sounds cool. Joe: Make it happen.



3. Wesley Snipes is a goddamn liar (and not just with his taxes) On the way back, we had some time to kill, so we hit The Wild Horse Casino out in Pendleton. Let me tell you, there is nothing more existentially depressing than the scene you'll find at the podunk casino on a Wednesday afternoon. The extent of my gambling was a turn at the roulette wheel, betting 20 dollars on black (mind you, I could have made my bet based on 25 cent increments). This went just as well as the time I tried to buy shrooms from that crackhead.


4. Trucker Gas Stations are amazing Not only could I stock up on beef jerky and Super Caffeine Happy Fun Time Wish Drink, but they have your weapons needs covered. Some of you might opt for the flash and thrill of a 3 foot samurai sword, but I was much more intrigued by the opportunity to purchase a switchblade. I know where I'm shopping for Christmas next year!

5. Who Shiv's A Git! Actual phrase found on a bumper sticker at Trucker Gas Station. Now I'm fluent in Southern, Hobo, and Retard, and never had I encountered words randomly put together like this (though my Jive is a bit rusty). Ignoring the Grammatical Genocide committed here (What the hell is the "shiv" possessing? Why is this implied question marked with an exclamation point?), I just have no clue what the hell is being asked here, or if it's even a rhetorical question. My response?



I don't know?