Hump Day Helper--Halloween Scary Video Spectacular

Because it's Wednesday, and we all need a pick-me-up to make it through the rest of the week in our respective hells, WDR is providing some fun.

WDR loves Halloween so much, that it would like to take it back behind the middle school and get it pregnant, despite the obvious constraints of Halloween not being an actual entity, but merely a concept. We of course laugh at such constraints, because we are not tied down by the laws of physics or logic. We exist beyond that crap. The point is, today we're going to combine two of our loves, music videos and Halloween (or, in other words, "weird shit").

In the past, we've showcased in our Hump Day Helper some strange videos, like Interpol's "Evil", and last week, we gave you a taste of the scary with a kickass song from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Now it's time for the main course, as we pick random videos that we enjoy as a collective whole and attempt poor commentary on why they make such worthy Halloween choices.

The Underrated Creepy Video Band
We all know that Queens of the Stone Age has produced some of the most badass rock of the past decade (you will find their albums in constant rotation at WDR headquarters, especially R), but what has been overlooked is the crazy videos that these guys make. People remember the goofy Deer-Comes-Alive video of "No One Knows", but little else. What they're neglecting is stuff like the twisted cannibal horror of "Sick Sick Sick", the legitimately creepy violence of "Burn The Witch", and the terror that is a tranny scorned of this video, "Monsters In The Parasol".

Unfortunately, the scariest video of them all, "Everybody Knows That You're Insane", seems to be absent from the Interwebs. That being said, if you ever saw the original video with the deranged naked Japanese guy running around an apartment, you'd probably be scarred for some time.

The Ironic Scare
Back in the day, this video seemed to scare people a lot. But these days, if they shot the video without all the makeup, but just as the performer is now, people would literally crap their pants in fear. That's all I'm going to say.


The Hipster Horror Video
This song gets me pumped, and the video has a great style to it, from the grainy video quality to the ridiculous stop-motion attackers. Plus, the ending title cracks me up.

Gotta bust that box, gotta gut that fish!

The Video That Shows The Downfall Of The Second Album
I'm including this video because it shows everything that went wrong with Sam's Town--overindulgence (see: giant gospel choirs and horns?!?!) and no sense of style. Plus, retardedly creepy lyrics--"Don't you wanna feel my bones on your bones" defies all previously held conceptions of terrible writing.


The Category for "I Know Too Much About Horror"
We all know about Rob Zombie and his deal, and though I would much rather have a White Zombie video instead, we have to realize that this video was quite creepy to come across at 3 in the morning. Who said that a knowledge of horror movies was useless?


The "I Just Watched This A Minute Ago and I Had To Post It" Video
Daft Punk are awesome, and though they venture quite often into the realm of the strange, they never had a video as terrifying as this one.


This is actually a Snuff Film
Nine Inch Nails is of course very well known for their videos, though there was one set of videos that was deemed unworthy of airplay. Instead, it was sold on home video, where one could enjoy torture scenes and a trip down a toilet pipe in peace, with the fantastic ability to rewind. I'm only going to link to it, because frankly I don't want our blog to be investigated for anything. Mr. Zhuang has business contacts that the government DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT.

Instead, let's just watch the perfectly stylized horror that is "The Perfect Drug".

Trent Reznor has stated that he is not a fan of his video, but dammit, it's sweet. Plus, we didn't want to go with the obvious choice of "Closer", even in all of its uncensored glory--though strangely enough, I appreciated the "Scene Missing" titles for giving it an even more mysterious air)

The "Holy shit, what happened to our instruments" Video
I will never turn down an opportunity to post this video.


Yes, it was only a dream. But Steve Perry's crotch has been the stuff of nightmares for years.

The WTF Video
Thanks for the heads-up in the comments section for this one. Glowing eyes, Urine-soaked fencing masks, SPEEDOS AND GYMNASTS--Good Christ, this video is terrifying.


We'll need the Dan Band to clean up after that one.

The Known Known
Tool is world-famous for their horrific, yet brilliant videos. The only problem was choosing which one to feature--do you go with the psychological trauma of "Prison Sex" or the purgatorial angst of "Sober"? You can't go wrong with the out-and-out weirdness of "Ænema". Well, I'm going to have to go with the videos which might be described as "Fun With Tumors" with naked people.


Mr. Zhuang's Choice
Well, he's a connoisseur of the Manson, so this choice is all his. I remember "Sweet Dreams" terrifying me as a child, and though it was responsible for one of the 3 funny things that David Spade has ever said ("Satan called, and said your videos are giving him nightmares"), this one is truly creepy.

(Note from Mr. Zhuang: This song and video are based off of Marilyn Manson's recurring nightmares. This should explain why it's pretty damn creepy)


Joe Reefer's Choice
Joe has led a terrifying life.


The Indisputable Champ
There is one man to turn to when it comes for the scares, and it's a guy that lives in a hollowed out former bank and drives a tank (at least that's what I hear). While "Windowlicker" has its own special kind of horror, I'm going with the video that has a demon shouting at me that he will eat my soul, and evil midgets terrorizing old ladies. Now that's fucking scary.


Well, enjoy your Halloween, everybody. And please, feel free to let us know what we missed in the comments.