Friday, October 19, 2007

Mark May And The Infallible Logic Machine

I was watching Sportscenter yesterday, when I was presented with a case of either blinding illogic or just extremely poor research. Now, just for the record, I was only watching the travesty that is the current rendition of Sportscenter because I had left the TV on after Pardon the Interruption, my daily can't-miss show. I frame the incident in this context, because this is the kind of display that makes me dread watching the program.

In one of their manufactured-for-controversy segments, they had college football analysts Craig James and Mark May square off over a series of provoking questions, presumably in an attempt to justify their presence on the Disney company's payroll. The one question that caught my eye was "Does LSU deserve to be ranked higher than Kentucky?". And May's answer completely befuddled me.



It revolved around the generally sound principle of "if Team A beats Team B, therefore Team A must be better than Team B". On its face, this seems perfectly acceptable. Kentucky did in fact defeat LSU, and we'll ignore the fact that LSU had 3 defensive starters injured from questionably dirty play, that a phantom touchdown was awarded to Kentucky, and several dubious pass interference calls went Kentucky's way to aid them in their improbable comeback. We'll ignore that. The problem occurs when we follow this use of logic to its full end. So according to Mark May, we should have it ranked as follows:

Kentucky
LSU

Fine. Let's then take a look at who Kentucky lost to, which would be South Carolina. Continuing with the same logic, here's how they stack up:

South Carolina
Kentucky
LSU

Sounds good so far. But wait, South Carolina has one loss. To whom could that be? Oh yeah, that's right, the Gamecocks got destroyed by LSU. So it would then read:

LSU
South Carolina
Kentucky

The point is, we'd cycle back and forth indefinitely because of these particular results. In other words, either May either didn't follow his logic to its full conclusion, or was too lazy to actually look at the rest of the teams in question. And since we don't have three-dimensional polling (and ties are for pussies), let's instead give the benefit of the doubt to the team that was best described as "a giant purple gorilla with a chainsaw dick" (i.e., the LSU Tigers).



Of course this is all moot if LSU chokes against Auburn tomorrow. Then I will be dealing with my own personal set of problems.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I understand how generally you could criticize May and the rest of the D Bags on Espn but I read your article under the impression that May said something really dumb. I don't read your blog but you seem to be just upset at that comment because your an LSU fan. Obviously that whole Team X beat Y formula doesn't work but everyone still uses it. So as you attack the logic of May using that theory, why dont you just say every fan and commentator out there??? I wish I could give you a pullitzer for your groundbreaking discovery....

Nic Ouzo said...

I believe that the principle "Team X beat Team Y" works in general, but in a segment that clearly was prepared that one should do a little research, and back up the statement with more than that simple platitude.

And yes, I could criticize a whole lot more when it comes to ESPN commentators (and sports commentators in general), but I only responded since I am an LSU fan. I'll plead guilty to that (for the record, my co-conspirators are a Ducks fan and a non-fan).

And I'll accept any Pulitzer that comes my way, dear sir.

Joe Reefer said...

Hey Matt, you can buy a Pulitzer for Mr. Ouzo right here. If you want, I'll chip in for the award ceremony. Enjoy!

Nic Ouzo said...

For the record, Joe is our total non-fan. He believes that scores are determined in football by "style points".

Joe Reefer said...

He also believes that Matt owes Nic a Pulitzer now.

Anonymous said...

Mark May is a good example of a Pitt education.....short bus material all the way.,