As has been mentioned numerous times before, I am currently unemployed. However, unlike goddamn hippies, I am actively attempting to rectify the situation instead of spouting platitudes about "not working for my car" and "Simplify, Maaaaan!". And because I long to work in a city in which I'd be terrified to move anywhere. Movement, like fresh air and the Ohio State Buckeyes, is overrated. So I find myself in LA, whoring myself out to get a cool job. Because non-cool jobs are not worthy of my time.
And because Joe is lonely (and needs protection from his babies' mommas).
1. "Everyone is either a total nerd or a coke addict": I doubted Joe's initial description of his new school, but upon my arrival my Douchemeter promptly took a shit and died due to the overwhelming sense of "douche" in the air. My initial reactions were confirmed again and again as I walked around the campus, taking in the aura of supreme "brah" that exudes from everyone. Think of your stereotypical frat brother who wears an anklet and will totally listen to Jack Johnson with you, and you will get an idea of the average USC student.
Everyone is a Broseph.
2. The colors of maroon and gold have never looked so obnoxious: I was warned to be prepared for the overwhelming sense of school spirit that I would encounter. I would find myself in a sea of School-Sponsored Clothing. I didn't think it would be a big deal, considering that my own school had its fair share of school pride--everyone had at least a few pieces of Dartmouth clothing in their wardrobe--but once again, the advice was quite necessary. And I realized why Joe and his roommate had found it so obnoxious. It's because everyone's clothing appears to be brand new or only recently-purchased. They don't grow up wanting to go to the school, and appear to only show their support as a fad. They seem to never wash their previous clothes, and only buy another shirt to replace a dirty one.
That, and the combination of maroon and gold is awful (especially when combined with black).
3. Women are insane: Overheard at a USC-area restaurant: "One day, I want to get in a room with all my girlfriends, and we'll all just take some roofies and see what happens!"
I love LA
4 comments:
This does not change my opinion of USC in the slightest. In fact, it only re-inforces what I already knew/suspected.
The only complaint I have with this post is that it did NOT start with a picture of something on fire. This must be fixed.
I'm glad to see someone's been paying attention to my posts!
You see, preconceptions can be correct. Visiting this degree-granting institution only confirmed my worst fears.
And there's no fire, because that's a Thursday night occurrence.
That's because it's Hobo Thursday
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