This is not entirely because my roommate has not put on any pants yet, but because nobody should have put on any pants yet. It's Labor day, and I don't care if you're not wearing pants because you're lazy, because it's hot, because you didn't do your laundry, or because you stupidly confessed your love to your best friend and have spent the last two days in a drunken stupor regretting the possible relationship-ending fuckup.... (I'm looking at you, Nic Ouzo.) ... Labor Day is No Pants Day. If you have pants on right now, stop reading this blog immediately. We don't want your business. Seriously. Get out.
This would be a short post, but I felt I needed to call to the WDR-reading public's attention another important development on this fine No Pants Day. This may only be pertinent in 10, 15, maybe 20 or 30 years from now, who knows... but I think it is important to remember the truth about Mr. Zhuang's daughter as illuminated by this fine AIM conversation...
(note, the beginning of this conversation will be cut short so-as not to reveal the nerdy conversation Zhuang and Reefer had about how much SimCity 5 is going to suck)Mr. Zhaung: the impossible to build farms
Joe Reefer: seriously
Joe Reefer: we got more stable regions out of Iraq
Joe Reefer: ZING!
Joe Reefer: topical humor is funny
Mr. Zhaung: ka-ZAAM!
Mr. Zhaung: yes it is
Joe Reefer: shaQUILLE!
Mr. Zhaung: hehe
Joe Reefer: wangCHUNG!
Joe Reefer: herbertHOOVER!
Mr. Zhaung: stevePERRY!
Joe Reefer: lol, good one
Mr. Zhaung: thanks
Joe Reefer: I was going to go for chesteraARTHUR
Mr. Zhaung: i like how it's chestera
Joe Reefer: exactly
Mr. Zhaung: i think that will be one of my kids names, if i have any
Mr. Zhaung: "Chestera, clean your fucking room!"
Mr. Zhaung: i like it
Joe Reefer: lol, but would you have them say it like Chester A. Arthur? or like Chestera "chest-era"
Joe Reefer: like, the era of chests
Mr. Zhaung: era of chests
Joe Reefer: hehehehe
Joe Reefer: your daughter is doomed to be a whore
Mr. Zhaung: somebody's got to do it...
Mr. Zhaung: i'm looking out for the future
Mr. Zhaung: which reminds me of a great jack handey quote
Mr. Zhaung: "We need to preserve the earth for our children, but not our children's children, because children shouldn't be having sex."
Joe Reefer: hehehehe
Joe Reefer: I'm still laughing at Chestera
Joe Reefer: the only thing I can think of to compete with that is turning Ashley into Assly
Joe Reefer: that'd be a name to be reckoned with
Joe Reefer: Assly Chestera
Mr. Zhaung: hehe
Joe Reefer: HAHAHAHA
Mr. Zhaung: and since it's a take on ashley, it can go guy OR girl
Joe Reefer: this is great
Joe Reefer: this is great
Joe Reefer: hold on lol
Mr. Zhaung: shortened simply to ass
Joe Reefer: so I googled "Assly Chestera"
Joe Reefer: and of course it didn't find anything
Joe Reefer: but...
Joe Reefer: it goes "Did you mean: "Assly Chester"
Mr. Zhaung: hehe
Joe Reefer: ... because Chestera is not okay.. but Assly it's down with
Mr. Zhaung: maybe i DID...
Joe Reefer: and naturally it doesn't find anything under that either
Joe Reefer: ... but it HAD to be a dick about it
Mr. Zhaung: well, did you do an image search?
Mr. Zhaung: because i did
Joe Reefer: uhoh
Mr. Zhaung: not as hilarious as it could be
Mr. Zhaung: assly chester came up with a picture of a shelf
Joe Reefer: oh, see I was putting it in quotes so it could only pull up both words in that order
Mr. Zhaung: ah
Joe Reefer: although the shelf is pretty good
Joe Reefer: she's got quite a rack on her
Mr. Zhaung: (stupid-ass winking smiley face that didn't show up on here)
Joe Reefer: but nobody has put any junk in the trunk yet
Mr. Zhaung: hehe
Joe Reefer: okay
Joe Reefer: golden
So, let it be noted. Should Mr. Zhuang ever impregnate any poor fool with his tiny, Asian penis... and should that 'fool' give birth to a human of the female persuasion. Mr. Zhuang is legally obligated to name that girl Chestera; and that girl will be doomed to be a whore.
The end.
No comments:
Post a Comment