I hope all of you had a great No Pants Day (known in some circles as "labor" day). Now that the celebration is over, we must move on to issues of much importance.
It has long been noticed by the WDR crew that alternative radio (at least in the places we have lived) can sometimes go into strange and horrible musical places (see our Vendettas section). Mr. Ouzo and I decided that there is one easy remedy that alternative radio should look into: The Pixies.
No, not those pixies...
Yes, those Pixies...
Now, everyone knows that the Pixies are awesome, and if you (the reader) don't, I don't know why you're here (Aside from you fuckers searching for Harry Potter and Tentacle Rape Porn. Sick.). So I don't think that I need to explain that any further. But during this conversation I realized that not only having the Pixies on more would be awesome, but it might even be life saving.
We would be living in a much better world. Can you imagine how much road rage would be subdued if we had "Debaser" playing during the drive-time commute instead of Nickelback's "Rockstar"? Think about it: The Pixies could fill spots where shit like Linkin Park and Nickelback get played. That Plain White Ts song would be limited to the CD player headphones of emo high school kids (you know how they can relate to it).
And people are always saying that "the children" are our future. What kind of future has kids raised on Avril Lavigne (she didn't even know who David Bowie is. DAVID BOWIE!)? I'll tell you, it's a sad one. Just think Planet of the Apes, except instead of Apes, it will be emo kids with wrist bands and "x"s on their hands. I'm not sure which vision is more frightening...
Also, imagine how much more energetic kids will be listening to something fun and fast. We blame the obesity epidemic on fast food and improper portion sizes, but what about depressing alt-rock? It has to have some effect. At least with "Tame" going every once in a while, the kids have to at least jump around a bit.The Pixies were even responsible for saving our own Nic Ouzo. Nic could have broken his ankle, but because "Digging for Fire" was playing, he was able to escape injury and, possibly, death. Thank you, Pixies!
I'm just saying - something should be done. I want to hear some "Digging for Fire." I think you can at least give us that, alternative radio.
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Monkey Gone to Heaven
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