You people voted for Hubert Humphrey, and you killed Jesus!

OK, not exactly...

I really had no choice but to click a link titled "Feds: Teen wants to die, go to heaven, kill Jesus."

Frankly, I find the whole thing baffling. Kill Jesus? In Heaven? Now, I'm not expert when it comes to Christianity, but I'm pretty sure you can't kill people in Heaven because they're already dead. Furthermore, if you DID kill someone in Heaven, where would they go? Detroit? I think not.

Obviously this kid is a little more than off his rocker, if you know what I mean. (I am only vaguely aware of what that means.) Still, I'm not sure that life imprisonment is really the answer. Perhaps he should be sent to high security mental hospital, but a life sentence? I don't really see how that option is helpful.

Anyway, off to greater and more important things in the news. Like, uh, some bear, aptly called "Sleepy Bear," can't seem to stay awake. This is totally newsworthy.

CNN, you never fail to fail. I mean ... amaze me.