The Thing That Should Not Be

In other words: Things That Shouldn't Exist, Yet Here They Are

If you've ever been to a college party, or have seen what a fifteen year old tries to buy with a fake ID, you've certainly come across this product.



We are all familiar with the inherent failure that is the "flavored malt beverage". You take all the fun out of beer, by making it so incredibly artificially fruity, and you take all the fun out of schnapps, by making it so powerfully weak, and you get the Smirnoff Ice. It's a drink that says "I can't handle alcohol" or "I do not want to scuff my boat shoes", if you really get down to it. Utterly pointless, especially considering you get more of a buzz from snorting Pixie Stix.

Now imagine what you know already, but with one word added: LIGHT.

That's right. Flavor scientists have now created for the body public the wonderfully retarded drink, Smirnoff Ice Light. Now Google Image Search has failed me once again in providing an actual look at this concoction, but I assure you, it does indeed exist. It's a drink that says not only everything I mentioned before, but that "When I party, I need to count carbs".

I'll say it once, and I'll say it again, people. If you're going to drink, actually drink something, for God's sake. This is unacceptable. I'm pretty sure that this is the real reason behind home foreclosures.