McCain Needs To Quit His Bitching

John McCain's 2008 campaign has been quite the monument to sheer incompetence. But because America is a little slow sometimes (I mean, there is still a sizable population that thinks Dummy McChimp has been doing a bang-up job as President, despite ALL evidence to the contrary), he is still running neck-and-neck with Barack Obama. I mean, a candidate that has betrayed all previous appearance of principles AND has decided to back just about every single policy of a failed President (see: McCain's economic policy, his relaxation of his anti-torture stance, his reversal on oil drilling, etc.)--that's just what this country is looking for, right?

And if you ask John McCain, apparently being in a close race isn't enough--he should be winning this thing, daggummit. And he would be too, if it weren't for that goshdarn media being so in looooove with Obama! That's the problem. So last week McCain put on his sad puppydog eyes and played the victim as he complained about the media's coverage of Obama's trip overseas. "It's not fair that they're covering a trip that they basically goaded Obama into taking! Why don't you pay attention to me? P.S., I'm not a crackpot!"


Of course, irony is not McCain's strong suit. McCain may love to play the victim here, but doesn't realize if he got the "equal coverage" that he believes he deserved, we would have spent way more time going over his many mistakes, like his total confusion between Sunni and Shiite groups (happened during his Mideast trip in March, and kind of important in determining how our enemies operate), that he doesn't know who the leader of Iran is (kind of important, since we're talking about relations with a potential enemy), or that he still believes there's a country called Czechoslovakia (which happened during Obama's recent trip). All this, from a candidate who claims to be the expert in foreign policy.

Now, I don't know about you, but I think I would be glad that the media didn't go to town in picking up these kinds of gaffes. Unlike most of McChimp's fuckups of the English language, these "slips" just show a painful ignorance that is dangerous for a candidate to display. Of course, what can you expect from a man who in 2008 still does not know how to operate a computer.

Now, we'll have the McCain campaign respond with a message of their own: