Firings, Layoffs, and Other Intra-Office Hijinx

Some of you may have noticed the slow downturn in productivity around these here parts. If this were a regular corporate office, we could probably blame intrusive government tax infrastructure and a tightening of the commodities market as being key factors that have contributed to the gradual shittening of our product. Of course, if that were the case, you the consumer would probably blame goddamn illegal immigrants (read: Mexicans) from doing something to fuck up the system, like giving us the plague and stealing our Social Security numbers. And you're both right. In that nothing of the sort has occurred.

No, what has really happened is that we've simply dropped the ball. But it's not our fault entirely. Well, it is and it isn't. Let me explain.

If you take a look at our post count in the sidebar, you'll notice fluctuations in our post counts month to month. We hum along at a good clip for the most part, but we begin to die in November, tailing off into December and January. The natural assumption would be that Shitty Weather = S.A.D. and a lack of desire to offer our deliciously witty insights. But you fool, you didn't look at a big enough sample size! Notice that February saw a rise in postings, when weather has empirically been found to be at it's Shittiness Index Zenith. But in March, we saw our output decline again. Why?



It's because the authors all met each other in person and hung out together. And thus eliminated our desire to write. Because, really folks, the only reason we really do this site is to make each laugh; when we are physically in each other's presence, we really don't need the middleman of WDR to make our brilliant points. Hence, productivity declines.

But The Namesake has had enough of these shenanigans, and he has personally instituted some changes. First off, Joe Reefer has been temporarily demoted to LiveJournal postings as the result of a drunken voicemail message that disparaged the French and retards. He thinks that the punishment of acting like a 14 year-old post-Goth girl is certainly adequate. Second, Mr. Zhuang will have his coke privileges revoked, so hopefully we don't have any repeats of what happened in the lobby of that one Marriott. And I, Nic Ouzo, have been entered into psychological counseling as I attempt to deal with the tragic loss of my Pog collection.



Oh, and our accounting staff has been fired, and Rasheed has been let go. On the bright side, we're on the lookout to hire new interns!