MISSING! The Best Damn College Mascot

Deadspin announced yesterday that the beloved official unofficial mascot of my alma mater was kidnapped. Immediate suspicion was cast on a motley crew of three nerds and a large oaf, but that lead in the end turned up nothing. You may ask, why should I care? And I will answer, that you sir, are a callow ass--of course you should, we're talking about the greatest mascot in history, Keggy the Keg!

I initially was skeptical of the news, considering that a similar occurrence had happened years earlier. It didn't help that the page that the story linked to was from 2003. But sure enough, the college paper reported the terrible news, making sure that the disappearance of our faithful Keg was heard by all, before we can read about new data storage centers and a killing spree in Finland.

We here at WDR shall not rest until we hear word that Keggy is returned safe and sound--if there's a scratch on him, you're not getting your deposit back!