So You Find Yourself Living in Eugene II

The Return of Jafar!

This is a special report from the library because Comcast, in a completely different change of pace, did something in a timely fashion. That is, they cut off my internet because I forgot to pay the bill. Now they're going to take their sweet time reconnecting it...

Anyway, back to the REAL part of the post. A fun little trivia fact: Did you know that the University of Oregon has at least one of every species of tree that grows in Oregon on the campus? It's true! You want to know what else? One of these trees has a berry on it that smells like someone vomited out their ass! It's true! it just so happens that this tree is right next to my apartment and now whenever I go outside/open a window, it smells like somebody vomited out their ass!

I first discovered this tree while in Salem. They have some of these bastards at Salem Center, and every fall the area smells foul. I mean, especially foul. I found that the smell only came around during the fall (that and after Joe Reefer's annual "How old is this hotdog?" hotdog eating contest), so we can rule out blaming vagrants. For now...

One would think that I should spend time figuring out what this tree is, as to warn you to stay away from it (unless, of course, you ENJOY the smell of vomit with more than a hint of ass), but I'm not the kind of person that does that. if you want to do the research yourself, go ahead. I'm too busy designing spreads about Underwater Hockey.

I also discovered that if you go to an invitational college basketball game, you're pretty much guaranteed to get on television. I know I did, and I wasn't even trying. Oh, that and you get to see Donald kick some ass (see previous post). The game was against Western Michigan, and they pretty much sucked. Especially David Kool. If you're reading this David, you're NOTHING!*



I've got another post in the works, hut you'll have to wait. let's just say it's epic and involves two important words: Open bar.

*(Actually, we just picked a name at random of someone to make fun of. Kool was probably one of the better players, as it turns out, but that didn't stop him from sucking. And David, if you're reading this, thanks for stopping by.)