McDonald's seems like the sort of corporation that we wouldn't put on our vendettas list. They make the world fat by selling extremely cheap fast food and also manage to make insane profits. As fans of fast food, the WDR crew has no quibble with them on this front. Actually McDonald's, in the realm of fast food, really isn't very good. It's just cheap as hell.
No, the reason for this vendetta has to do with the fact that Grimace has been removed from the McDonald's ad campaigns. Yes, the fat purple thing that has a disturbing obsession with McDonald's shakes is no longer part of "McDonaldland" (insert Orwell reference here).Why Grimace? McDonald's, due to pressure and bad press, is trying to reshape their image and promote healthier lifestyles (or so they claim). Apparently a purple monster that loves shakes is not part of this equation. But yet the clown (and as we all know, clowns are evil) is still there. Heck, even the Hamburgler (whose vocabulary consists primarily of "robble robble robble") is still around. Why? Because promoting good health is just as important as promoting creepy adults and kleptomania. Fat, mildly retarded purple creatures need not apply.
But isn't it the fat and/or mildly retarded that made McDonald's what it is today? Are the forsaking those who have brought them to the top of the fast food pyramid?
Well, yeah. But this also isn't the first time Grimace has been attacked. In fact even since his inception, he was known as the "Evil Grimace," probably because he just didn't fit in with anyone else.
This prompted a bit of discussion here at WDR headquarters:
Nic Ouzo: IS THAT THE SHIT MONSTER FROM DOGMA?!
Mr. Zhuang: Heh heh...I do love that he’s the “evil” Grimace…
NO: Who knew he was a villain?!
MZ: Not me.
NO: Where was this in my history class?
MZ: Seriously. Someone should investigate this.
NO: I've been told I should write a dissertation on this.
MZ: You should.
NO: I'll have it done by Tuesday.
MZ: Good. I'll expect it on my desk by then.
Well, it should come as no surprise that Nic didn't do the dissertation about Grimace, mostly because he's lazy. I also didn't do any research on this because, well, I am also lazy. Still, the fact remains: Grimace got the shaft. Is there not justice in this world?
And so it has come to pass that Grimace has joined the other reject characters of McDonaldland, like Mayor McCheese, Big Mac, Uncle O'Grimacey (Grimace's Irish stereotype uncle) and this creepy fucker.
Grimace, you will be missed.
2 comments:
How come I was left out of the loop on this discussion?
I also didn't know Grimace was an evil shit-monster... I also didn't know that Carlos Mencia was stealing half his routine from him...
"The More You Know"
... Also, don't dis the late-night moon dude, I love that guy!
Sure, he probably symbolizes some repressed memory of your dad's cool jazz-buddies raping you as a child, but he makes up for it with free food!
Anything can be made up for with free food.
Anything.
Dude, I was totally going to do it, but there was a Bond-a-thon on. You know I can't work when that's the case.
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