That was before this past Fourth of July weekend, when Sarah Palin decided to, I shit you not, "declare her independence from politics as usual", as per her lawyer. Among other things, she was tired of the jokes about her. Yes, the person that ran last November for the position of backup to the most powerful office in the world (and most likely would eventually be called up to be the starter) decided to quit her job as Governor just 2 and a half years into her term, partially because of jokes. Let's let that sink in for a bit.
But this isn't the reason that I'm finally talking about Palin. No, I'm doing all this because I just want to analyze her most recent comments to the press, explaining her decision.
Palin: 'I am not a quitter; I am a fighter'
No Sarah. No no no no no. You have it exactly fucking backwards. Let me break this down for you, so you comprehend the idiocy that you have unleashed upon us.
YOU QUIT. Ergo, you are a quitter. You quit because you were tired of fighting ethics complaints, a legislature that was pissed off at you, and just in general doing the work of a Governor. Quitting is the exact thing that you just did. In other words, when the chance came for you to fight, you did not fight. WORDS DO NOT MEAN WHATEVER YOU WANT THEM TO MEAN! So the revised statement should be:
I am not aquitterfighter. I am afighterquitter.
Hopefully this lesson proves useful to you, Sarah, as you fill out the rest of your term going on fishing vacations instead of spending that last month actually governing. I mean, you're gone at the end of the month, but why wouldn't you put off that fishing trip? If not, just be sure to blame the vagaries of the English language on Obama, because it's probably his fault.
2 comments:
I saw this on July 3rd on CNN. Luckily I was properly inebriated when it came on, or I probably would have flipped shit.
I was less concerned with her saying something stupid (When doesn't she?) and more concerned with the punditry of CNN's people in discussing how this was a move that she wanted to make so she could take a senate seat. This, of course, makes no sense at all. ("Well, I couldn't do this one job right, so I quit and decided to go for another job in the same field that will probably be more challenging!") And another thing, and this one gets me every time: No one went out and straight up SAID how bone-headed this move was. NO ONE. They always bring it back to the fallacy of being "objective." (Which, by the way, is impossible, though one should give it a shot with the news.) But pundits don't need to be objective. In fact, THEY SHOULDN'T BE OBJECTIVE. Their job is to express opinions based on their knowledge of a subject. It's insincere to pretend that this is anything less than it is. Palin is a fuck-up and an idiot and for some damn reason she's had all sorts of attention. She wants to quit and get out of the public eye, LET HER! They don't need to go on about what her future political career might be. THERE WON'T BE ONE! GAH!
A'herm...sorry. Got a little carried away there...
HOW MANY MOOSE MUST DIE BEFORE YOU PEOPLE ARE SATISFIED???
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