How To Drink Like A Greek

Greeks aren't especially known for their drinking (like say, the Irish), but reputation isn't everything. As anyone who has been to a Greek restaurant after-hours would know, we know how to throw a party down, courtesy of more than a few spirits. We're the kind of people that don't necessarily go all out and match you shot-for-shot, but at the end of the night we're the ones still standing and dancing and having your girl make eyes at us. In other words, we're marathon drinkers, not sprinters--but we'll beat you in sprinting if we have to as well.

So it comes as no surprise that in my travels back to the homeland that drinking made up a prime component. The country just lends itself to drinking at any hour in the day. You of course drink plenty with your meals, but say, it's just 2 in the afternoon--crack open another bottle. It's hot "as fuck" outside--time for a cold one. Bored? Not for long you aren't. All in all, I had more beer than...well, since a Tuesday night at Dartmouth.

Beer Me

The other benefit of drinking in Greece is its relatively close distance from Germany. I had more delicious German beers than I could shake a sausage at, including ones that I had never heard of before in my life. I tended to stick with Kaiser, since it was a hearty lager that was available at just about every taverna, though at home I was free to explore whatever the local grocery store happened to have that day. That's not to say I didn't have some Greek beer. Mythos is the brand that is most well-known among the American tourists, and it's not surprising considering how it tastes like a less-pussy version of Budweiser. But the true Greek beer is Alpha, which is much more influenced by German brewing. It's not nearly as common, but worth seeking out if you have the chance.

Of course, the main attraction is not beer in Greece, it's Retsina! Nah, we don't even drink that most of the time. No, the drink of choice is of course ouzo, something that you would be inclined to believe that I know something about (hint: look at my name, jerkass). Unfortunately, most non-Greeks are unfamiliar with ouzo, so as a Concerned Citizen, I'm providing a quick lesson on the basics.

Choosing An Ouzo

Most people in the US are unfamiliar with the various brands of ouzo. This is not really their fault--most liquor stores only carry one, maybe two brands. And usually the brand that they carry is the completely awful Metaxa, which makes drinking gasoline seem like a great way to quench your thirst. Since this is the introduction to ouzo for many, you can see why ouzo isn't more popular. On the other hand, if you're lucky enough, you can stumble upon 12, which is much, much better than Metaxa. Plus, it comes from my mom's hometown, so there's some regional pride showing through.

However, when in Greece, you should get your hands on Plomario, which is the standard-bearer of ouzo. While 12 may be the equivalent of Grey Goose or Belvedere, Plomario is the Russian Standard of ouzo--there's a clear difference in quality, and it's not even that much more expensive. On the other hand, you're always welcome to try the various random offerings you'll find. Of course, you can always choose an ouzo based on the best-looking bottle.



Word to the wise: be careful when selecting the local ouzo when you're at a taverna. Not exactly the same 80 proof stuff you'll find in the standardized fare, I'll tell you that much. I guess just make sure you're not driving afterwards.

How to Drink Ouzo

Ouzo is not meant to be done in shots; doing that just proves you're an idiot, not a man. It's meant for summer days, it's meant for relaxation, so you sip it. Take your time, there's still plenty left for you to drink later. This way, you won't be dead drunk after 20 minutes.

Also, it's best not to drink ouzo straight. The Greek way is to pour it over ice cubes. Not only does this soften the taste of it, but you get the added cool factor of seeing two clear substances (ice, ouzo) combine to form a white drink. This will blow the minds of your (probably intoxicated) friends.

Well, now you're ready to drink like a pro--you're ready to drink like a Greek. Good luck, you're going to need it.