Prepare Your Bunkers: The Saints Are In The Super Bowl

There are some things that you can count on, year in and year out. The swallows will return to Capistrano, the Saints will lose, etc. These are constants that we can rely on in an ever-evolving world [cue Steve Jobsian-style presentation].

At least that was the case until yesterday.

I am still in disbelief, and I don't think I'll truly comprehend it even on February 7th. To many, the Saints are a bunch of lovable losers, nothing out of the ordinary, like the Cubs or the pre-2004 Red Sox. What these people don't understand is just HOW the Saints would lose. It was always in the most heart-breaking fashion possible.

First, let's establish the bona fides of the Saints as losers. This is a team, that despite being in the league since 1967, had never won a playoff game until 2001. This was a team that a book about their first 25 years was entitled "Heroic Effort"--if that isn't putting a shine on a turd, I don't know what would be. And of course, Saints fans were the first to start the practice of wearing bags over their heads.

So, they've lost a lot. But not only do they lose, they do it in a way that's worse than a kick to the gut. For instance, last year in a game against the Minnesota Vikings (yes, those Vikings), the Saints wasted not one, but TWO punt return touchdowns from Reggie Bush to lose the game in the last minute after a gimme field goal was blocked. That's just one game, but guess how many games it would have taken for the Saints to make the playoffs last year? That's right, one.

Or let's put it another way. If you could pick one team to do this, who would it be: last play of the game, 75 yards to go; short pass, nearly tackled...lateral...lateral...lateral...holy fuck, TOUCHDOWN! If the Saints win, they're going to the playoffs, and holy shit, they're going to do it! Now John Carney just has to kick the extra point to tie it up and...



If there ever was a play that described a franchise, it was that play. As the Saints ran off 13 straight wins to start the year, all I could think was "the last time the Saints were 5-0, they missed the playoffs. There's only bigger heartache awaiting me." And then the team finished the regular season on a three-game losing streak, torpedoing their momentum right before the playoffs. So you can forgive me for watching the entire second half yesterday with my head in my hands, wondering how the Saints were going to blow it once again.

But I didn't count on Bret Favre's bad mojo outcrapping the Saints bad mojo. And that made all the difference in the world. Inevitable dread turned into unabashed joy. And it was glorious.

So the unthinkable has happened. The Saints are in the Super Bowl. Prepare accordingly, for the apocalypse awaits.