Nic's Wild European Adventure: Berlin With Ze Germans

Berlin marked a new traveling experience for me. Instead of going with a compadre, this trip was done totally solo. A frightening proposition, considering I had to confront multiple train switches and otherwise navigate myself around a town without knowing more than three words of German (well, beyond the essentials of "beer," "sausage," and "sauerkraut."). Hell, even the train station was imposing--the Hauptbahnhof is fancier than most airports. In other words, there was a strong chance that shit was about to get real.

However, nothing of the sort really occurred. Despite initial confusion in determining which U-Train to take into town, and where the hell my map faced in the middle of Kreuzberg, there would be no snags on this trip. In fact, once I found a tourist map I was able to hit the road and take a walk around the entire center of Berlin. This is key, since all the major tourist sights are in the center of the city (Sorry Dahlem Museum, you get the shaft!). In a day I was able to see Checkpoint Charlie, the Reichstag, Brandenburg Gate, the Siegessäule, and the great Cathedral, all within a few hours of brisk walking.


Did I mention that I came during the Gay Pride Festival?

Yeah, my timing made half of my walking tour a journey into fantastic debauchery, with drinking in the streets and what we will call "tomfoolery" of a sort in various floats, all resulting in a trashing of the Brandenburg plaza that rivals my previous experience at Mardi Gras. I experienced a tradeoff--while it made the trip more interesting (and provided a great story), it also meant I had a great slog to go through the throngs of trannies in half of my tour. However, I did my fair share of drinking and dancing in the streets, participating in a dance circle of some anarchists (oh anarchists, when will your contradictions ever not be funny?).


Perhaps the most impressive thing was how open the Germans were with their past.
There was no effort to conceal their participation in some of the greatest atrocities of the previous century--no, they instead took steps to confront their actions. On the guided tour I took the next day they pointed out many infamous sites from WWII, and outside one of the train stations I found a heartbreaking statue dedicated to the victims of the Holocaust. Let's just say other countries could take heart from these lessons.

Overall, Berlin was probably my favorite city to visit. It wasn't just the beautiful architecture, the clean air, and the mix of urban and pastoral that did it for me. There was just something in the air that made it seem like a pleasant city in which to stay, and if that wasn't good enough, there was always something to do late at night. It also was interesting to visit the different sections of the city, like say comparing the immigrant area of Kreuzberg with the Mitte District. While I got a good feel for the town over a weekend, I'd probably enjoy a much longer stay in the area. Oh yeah, and it's way cheaper than the Netherlands.

Word to the Wise--get your cash at the train station. I walked for miles and miles around Berlin without spotting anything that looked like an ATM. They're all hidden in banks, and it's tough to decipher what the hell is a bank. See, come to WDR for the Ronnie Colman breakfast, and stay for the useful travel tips.

Notes ON Travel: Trans-Atlantic Tomfoolery

Hey, it's the return of that recurring series no on really pays attention to! This is surely the best way to recommence the blogging habit and pulling in the audience.


1. If you're going to be stuck in the middle seat, it might as well be on a Trans-Atlantic flight. You may think I'm kidding, but you'd be wrong. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG. Wrong. That's because those trans-Atlantic flights use non-shitty planes, that have such concepts foreign to your average commuter traveler as "legroom". And given the added convenience of free TV and movies, I was able to watch "30 Rock" and "How I Met Your Mother" episodes along with a neat Bollywood movie. This allowed me to only watch "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" as a final attempt to put me to sleep.

Plus, it didn't hurt that I was stuck between two beautiful ladies...that I didn't say a word to the entire flight.

2. If you're going to be stuck in an airport for a five-hour layover, make sure it's not the Frankfurt airport. Those goddamn Germans and their Teutonic efficiency--they made this aiport into a giant hallway, with only a couple of half-assed newsstands and duty-free shops that take up about 5 square feet. Their food choices are: random prepared-sandwiches, and other random prepared-sandwiches. At least I ended up finding the one set of benches without armrests to sleep for two and a half painful hours, but this was after traveling 2.3 miles in that godforsaken hellhole.


3. There is no scarier feeling than realizing you may have gotten on the wrong train in the middle of a foreign country. Luckily, this feeling only lasted 25 minutes--I randomly ended up on the correct train. But goddamn would I have been fucked with my limited knowledge of Dutch and my 10 weeks-worth of luggage.

4. Don't take a taxi in The Hague. I'm used to New York cabs being pretty cheap, never really having to pay more than a few dollars unless I'm headed to the airport. LA is different, since you're stuck in traffic for 2 hours and have to travel 30 miles to do anything. But taxi service in Den Haag is insane--the starting price is 7.50 euros, which is, if you're scoring at home, 10 dollars. STARTING PRICE. And then once that meter starts ticking, you're going to be paying top dollar. At least their cabbies are dressed in suits. Good to see my money being put to good use.

Stuff That You Should Be Aware Of: Taste Test Edition

If you know any of the men behind WDR, you would be quite familiar with our various attempts at food experimentation, in all its various forms. In fact, we co-authored a study on the various permutations of "Skittlebräu", where we discovered that Sprite Remix provided the most consistent results, and that if you dropped the Skittles in certain SoBe flavors, you would create the hardest substance this side of a diamond. Not only do we seek interesting combinations, but we are always looking out for the bizarre. If we see something strange, we pick it up--that's how we know of the awesomeness of Ol' Glory Energy Drink (a key ingredient of the "Flag Burner"), or all the 27 varieties of Kit-Kat bars that they've come up with in the past 18 months.

While we pride ourselves in our abilities, we have to tip our hat when others do a better job. The A.V. Club has an excellent running series of "Taste Tests" that provide hilarious reactions to various oddball items that hit the storeshelves. But this week's entry takes the cake: Cheeseburger In A Can. I shit you not. And the consensus was what you'd expect--absolutely delicious.

While you should read the whole entry yourself, I'd also like to point to a link that somebody posted to in the comments: Steve, Don't Eat It! Steve has apparently tried the most terrifying food products imaginable, the kind of things that you gloss over without a second look, or just feed to your dog. Plus, you learn things, like how to make your very own Prison Wine! See, WDR is also about the children--we educate!