God's Limited Set of Blueprints: Campaign 2008 Edition

We're big fans of politics around here, so we spend a lot of time checking out the coverage on the various cable news outlets. Often times this leads to righteous indignation (see our post on the coverage of the Pennsylvania primary), and justly so. But this is not always the case.



One of the bright spots of the campaign coverage has been the introduction of Chuck Todd, MSNBC's resident number-cruncher and Delegate-Guru. He knows his stuff when it comes to how the delegates shake out, but he also realizes that this isn't a big deal--it's really not all that hard to plug in a couple of percentages and getting a delegate count. In other words, he'll lighten up on occasion and realize that when he's expounding on the meaning surrounding the numbers, it's generally bullshit.

But during his time on the air, I couldn't help but wonder where did this guy come from, and where had I seen him before. Then during Tuesday's coverage, it hit me.



Chuck Todd is clearly just a pseudonym for Dante Hicks. I for one am glad to see that he's advanced beyond Clerkdom and has left the world of Mooby's/Quick Stop for the glamor that is MSNBC.

The best part of this realization was that as Tuesday's coverage continued into the late night, Chuck was clearly getting pissed. At some point during the night, especially during the goofy lounge setup of the After Hours segment, he had just about enough. As Joe pointed out, we were about two seconds away from Chuck exclaiming "I wasn't even supposed to be here today!" Only then would this abomination of a campaign have been worth it.

God's Limited Sets of Blueprints: Blue Devil Edition

I am a person that is known for a few things. My ability to frighten women with my presence is legendary, as is my talent to consume copious amounts of alcohol to little ill-effect (and for the record, the first has never been a direct result of the second--God forbid we ever see the combination of Me + Alcohol + Women).

I am also known for my ability to find the resemblance between various people. See somebody on TV that seems vaguely familiar, as if you'd seen them before? Talk to me, and I'll tell you that what you just saw was a combination of John Ratzenberger and Harry Dean Stanton. My most famous contribution was identifying the host of a random talk show on Arab TV as the dastardly Saddam Geraldo.

All of this is based on my half-baked theory that God only has a set number of blueprints with people, and so when he's individually making individuals out of Earth Clay®, he has to combine certain sets to create new people. Which of course proves that my final talent is concocting retarded theories.

As proof, I ask, who is who? Dan Abrams, MSNBC host, and the Duke Blue Devil.





For the record, Dan Abrams was a Duke Blue Devil, but it's not intended to be a trick question per se. And for the record, I do realize that this is bongtarded.