So You Find Yourself Visiting L.A.

The USC is "Broseph U" edition

As has been mentioned numerous times before, I am currently unemployed. However, unlike goddamn hippies, I am actively attempting to rectify the situation instead of spouting platitudes about "not working for my car" and "Simplify, Maaaaan!". And because I long to work in a city in which I'd be terrified to move anywhere. Movement, like fresh air and the Ohio State Buckeyes, is overrated. So I find myself in LA, whoring myself out to get a cool job. Because non-cool jobs are not worthy of my time.

And because Joe is lonely (and needs protection from his babies' mommas).


1. "Everyone is either a total nerd or a coke addict": I doubted Joe's initial description of his new school, but upon my arrival my Douchemeter promptly took a shit and died due to the overwhelming sense of "douche" in the air. My initial reactions were confirmed again and again as I walked around the campus, taking in the aura of supreme "brah" that exudes from everyone. Think of your stereotypical frat brother who wears an anklet and will totally listen to Jack Johnson with you, and you will get an idea of the average USC student.

Everyone is a Broseph.


2. The colors of maroon and gold have never looked so obnoxious: I was warned to be prepared for the overwhelming sense of school spirit that I would encounter. I would find myself in a sea of School-Sponsored Clothing. I didn't think it would be a big deal, considering that my own school had its fair share of school pride--everyone had at least a few pieces of Dartmouth clothing in their wardrobe--but once again, the advice was quite necessary. And I realized why Joe and his roommate had found it so obnoxious. It's because everyone's clothing appears to be brand new or only recently-purchased. They don't grow up wanting to go to the school, and appear to only show their support as a fad. They seem to never wash their previous clothes, and only buy another shirt to replace a dirty one.

That, and the combination of maroon and gold is awful (especially when combined with black).


3. Women are insane: Overheard at a USC-area restaurant: "One day, I want to get in a room with all my girlfriends, and we'll all just take some roofies and see what happens!"

I love LA

Dick Gephardt is an Unbelievable Bastard

Be sure to emphasize those "e" sounds when reading that title--he deserves it. That is because Dick is truly a Shining Beacon to Bastardom, an example that will be studied for years to come.


Those who know me might find it odd that as a lifelong Democrat that I would come out against the former House Majority Leader (I guess the time as Majority Leader triumphs over the years as Minority Leader). Yes, I'm talking about THAT Richard Gephardt, the one known for his stands for the working man, etc. I agreed with him on a lot of issues, so why would I be taking this position now?

The reason lies in an article found in the latest edition of The New Republic. It discusses the controversy surrounding the various attempts by Congress to formally recognize the Armenian Genocide, a process that has taken decades. The thrust of this article is to show the impact of lobbyists on this seemingly unimportant issue, at least in terms of the average American's priorities.



The thing that struck me most was the incredible about-face that Gephardt took on the issue. He was a vocal proponent of getting the resolution passed while as a member of Congress, taking the time to co-sign a letter to the Speaker to urge speedy passage of the bill. Less than 10 years later, Gephardt is pushing the exact opposite line, now shilling for the Turks as he distributes pamphlets claiming that we must research the real history.

I believe that this 180 is the absolute most unscrupulous thing I have seen from a Congressman in my lifetime. It's one thing to pull a Billy Tauzin, and go to work for the pharmaceutical industry the second you leave office after heading the Committee that regulates the industry, but it's another thing when we're dealing with Genocide. Of course, to those familiar with the issue, historical research or accuracy never really enters the discussion, as the Turkish claims range from the disingenuous to the shameful to the hysterical (the Armenians were fighting back, they died only in transit that was a normal part of war, Turks were killed as well (though in not nearly as great numbers), bad weather). They talk a big game, but when it comes down to actual exchange of ideas with other historians, the Turks never offer the proof and deny any chance to do otherwise. And it's clear Gephardt's interest isn't in searching for truth--it's in pushing the party line of his new benefactors.



I hope this makes you at least one-tenth as upset as it made me.




On the lighter side of douchiness, here is an article that highlights one of the reason why I am weary of continuing to live in DC. It's amazing when you meet living, breathing stereotypes--and not only that, they revel in that fact. Be sure to check out their defense in the comments.