Lunacy!

Another addition to the Vendettas section

McDonald's seems like the sort of corporation that we wouldn't put on our vendettas list. They make the world fat by selling extremely cheap fast food and also manage to make insane profits. As fans of fast food, the WDR crew has no quibble with them on this front. Actually McDonald's, in the realm of fast food, really isn't very good. It's just cheap as hell.

No, the reason for this vendetta has to do with the fact that Grimace has been removed from the McDonald's ad campaigns. Yes, the fat purple thing that has a disturbing obsession with McDonald's shakes is no longer part of "McDonaldland" (insert Orwell reference here).

Why Grimace? McDonald's, due to pressure and bad press, is trying to reshape their image and promote healthier lifestyles (or so they claim). Apparently a purple monster that loves shakes is not part of this equation. But yet the clown (and as we all know, clowns are evil) is still there. Heck, even the Hamburgler (whose vocabulary consists primarily of "robble robble robble") is still around. Why? Because promoting good health is just as important as promoting creepy adults and kleptomania. Fat, mildly retarded purple creatures need not apply.

But isn't it the fat and/or mildly retarded that made McDonald's what it is today? Are the forsaking those who have brought them to the top of the fast food pyramid?



Well, yeah. But this also isn't the first time Grimace has been attacked. In fact even since his inception, he was known as the "Evil Grimace," probably because he just didn't fit in with anyone else.

This prompted a bit of discussion here at WDR headquarters:

Nic Ouzo: IS THAT THE SHIT MONSTER FROM DOGMA?!

Mr. Zhuang: Heh heh...I do love that he’s the “evil” Grimace…

NO: Who knew he was a villain?!

MZ: Not me.

NO: Where was this in my history class?

MZ: Seriously. Someone should investigate this.

NO: I've been told I should write a dissertation on this.

MZ: You should.

NO: I'll have it done by Tuesday.

MZ: Good. I'll expect it on my desk by then.

Well, it should come as no surprise that Nic didn't do the dissertation about Grimace, mostly because he's lazy. I also didn't do any research on this because, well, I am also lazy. Still, the fact remains: Grimace got the shaft. Is there not justice in this world?

And so it has come to pass that Grimace has joined the other reject characters of McDonaldland, like Mayor McCheese, Big Mac, Uncle O'Grimacey (Grimace's Irish stereotype uncle) and this creepy fucker.


Grimace, you will be missed.

Explaining Our Vendettas: Jed The Fish

Some of you may have noticed a strange item in the layout of our humble blog, a unique feature that you won't see anywhere else (therefore, making it by definition "unique". I am the king of redundancy.). That feature is the list of "Vendettas". Thus begins our series on explaining why exactly we have such righteous fury against these targets.


As a former radio station employee, I am keenly familiar with the various inner-workings of the radio industry. I also am highly sensitive to crappy crappy crappy DJs. Hence, the appearance of many DJs on the Vendettas list. However, none inspire my indignation quite as much as one fellow from KROQ.


Why the hell would I care about a KROQ DJ? Well, since they are the most famous rock radio station in the US, they have a lot of their DJs host syndicated programs that get played around the country, shows like Loveline. The reason for syndication is usually one of two reasons--either the show is really popular (think Howard Stern or Loveline), or stations just want to fill up time slots, usually on the weekend. In exchange for playing these time-filler slots, radio stations get free CDs in return filled with various crap that we can use to do our own production. It's not a bad deal.


However, some of these shows are unbearably awful. One such show that fits under this category is "Out Of Order with Jed the Fish", a countdown show that uses it's inability to count correctly as a gimmick. That is actually the smartest thing about the show, if you can believe it. The host is a smug, retarded jackass that goes by the spectacularly mediocre handle of Jed the Fish, whose idea of hosting a show means him making a terrible pun or speaking in a weird voice for 15 seconds before introducing a song. That is, if he's speaking at all. Often he'll just introduce an interview segment, splice in someone else's interview, and call it a day. This all wouldn't be so bad, but his nationwide show nets him a deal that makes him a millionaire, all for a few minutes worth of quarter-assed work--producers do the rest.

And for this, he earns a deserved spot on the Vendettas list.

Fall Out Boy Takes A Liquid Shit All Over Our Childhood

There is a lot of terrible music out there. Readers of the WDR know very well about our Vendettas against such horrible groups as Linkin Park and Nickelback, and like us, probably share the same sentiments. If you don't, we won't blame you. Just realize that you need help.

Usually, the rant about horrible music comes from going to the gym and hearing something so horrible it must be reported on. We pride ourselves in living in a civilized country, and such crimes against humanity should not go unpunished.

But today's rant come not from the gym, but from having to hear this bullshit for such a period of time that I can't stand for it to go free for any longer.

With that said, I bring up the subject of Fall Out Boy. Fall Out Boy happens to be one of the stupidest bands ever, and for some damned reason people are still buying their records. To say that this band is retarded would be an insult to many well-adjusted mentally disabled persons. Mental disabilities are not funny, just as listening to Fall Out Boy is not funny, or really at all entertaining. But Fall Out Boy has, well, fallen from where they used to be. Let me explain...

Like so many other groups, Fall Out Boy started out just plain sucking. The only thing they had going for them was their name (a Simpsons reference, no less, suggested by a crowd at one of their first shows), which is something they don't even really like anyway. They released one album that was lacking in originality, musicianship, or anything of any merit. OK. They release a second album of much the same material, this time with clearer vocals (not a good thing if your lyrics suck balls, though) and a confession (unintentional) that they have no idea what is going on with anything in the world. OK. This is all awful and terrible, but then this happens.

Is nothing sacred? Does Pete Wentz and all the other fuckers in this band have to shit all over everything?

Apparently so. And they're on The Ultimate Shitfest Tour with The Plain White T's and Cute Is What We Aim For (I don't even know who this last band is, but it doesn't sound good). Then again, they could team up with Linkin Park and My Chemical Romance's tour, too. They'd probably throw the Arcade Fire and Panic! At the Disco in there as well, just to totally fuck everything up. Then again, if that happened maybe the venue would burn down and they'd all be gone forever.

Seriously. Someone needs to get these fuckers out of here! I'm looking at you drooling, somehow satisfied by inane bullshit, masses! YOU have to power to change this shit.

As on P Diddy (Or whatever) once said, "Vote or Die. You vote, or I'll fucking KILL you!"