More Proof That Americans Lack Basic Critical Thinking Skills

I'm burning diesel, burning dinosaur bones


We're pretty much in Campaign '08's silly season, with discussions about Paris Hilton and the ability to be a "secret Muslim" dominating the political discourse in the media. The one serious issue that actually has had some movement has been that of energy, mainly in the form of high gas prices. In the tradition of the Democratic/Republic breakdown of the party divide as being the party of no ideas vs. the party of bad ones, we have the McCain "solution" for the present high gas prices of offshore drilling for oil. And in the tradition of Americans not looking beyond the superficial merits of the case, we have the people supporting such an action by a 2 to 1 margin.

This is all despite the fact that:

1). The economic effect (at least in terms of gas prices) will be distant and minimal. What it boils down to is percentages and supply/demand curves not remaining static. Percentages in that the oil available offshore represents such a small percentage of world oil production, that it amounts to a negligible effect on world supply. As for supply and demand, one has to realize that the demand curve is only going to get sharper as other countries continue to develop (namely, China and India), so the effects of such a small increase in supply are negated even more.

2). Claims of "energy independence" are bullshit, because oil is sold on the world market. All that theoretical oil being pumped off of California or Florida is not guaranteed to stay in the US; it's just going to be sold to the highest bidder, regardless of location. So all this tough talk of not depending on the Saudis and so on and working on energy ourselves goes out the window.

3). The issue is not about drilling, it's about leases. As the Democratic leaders have tried to stress, there's no hold on drilling--it's just drilling in particular areas. Oil companies own leases to areas around the country that are double that of the area they're now angling for. Instead, the oil companies are taking advantage of the political situation, knowing full well that this is their last best chance to get their hands on these leases--because that's where the money is.

But that's not the part of the poll that bothers me. No, it's the fact that half of the people surveyed didn't believe that drilling would lower gas prices. That means there is at least 16 or so percent of people that are willing to drill for oil...without any potential benefit to them! The number may be even higher than that, since there are sure to be some environmentalist-types that are dead-set against drilling, even it provided such benefits.

Who are these people, and what happened to their brains?

Keeping It Short

I don't care about the polygamists in Texas. Seriously. Cut it out.

No more news, no more coverage. And definitely no more shit on the front page of your website.

I'd much rather have a full hour of Stephen Colbert on Larry King, dammit. That way we can be amazed when a 328 year old humanoid understands Colbert's whip-smart humor at a 32% clip.



If you see one movie the rest of your life...make sure it's...Jungle 2 Jungle!

It's 2008--WHY CAN'T I TELEPORT?!?!

Well, another year has come and gone. Another year that saw no flying cars, no one-pill meals, and most importantly, no teleportation. Honestly, it's as if scientists are doing diddly-squat these days. Stem cells? Hydrogen Power? All nonsense. Get me a damn teleportation module, then you can fritter your time away on things like "improving health" and "alternative energy".

And with that gloriously retarded introduction, that should be a cue as good as any that the geniuses that run WDR are back and ready to go. We'll be sure to provide the latest in inside jokes, inane commentary, and supremely controversial nonsense, in conjunction with random attempts at seriousness, therefore defeating our attempts to be both humorous and informative in one fell swoop. If you can't appreciate our schizophrenic nature, then please feed us our meds. They fell outside of our cages. We'd really appreciate the help.



And for all the people that arrive to our site just to look at the pictures from our AIDS-Hot post, welcome and enjoy your visit. For those of you who came here because you were apparently researching "banana bread rape"*, well, please seek help. I don't even want to know the context of that search.

*actual search term used to find our site

So what do you have to look forward to in the new year from the WDR crew?

1. More posts from Joe Reefer. You asked for it, and you will get it. If not, Joe will know the business-end of my cattle prod all too well (that's right Joe, I ended up actually buying one. Fear the prod).
2. Posts that were previously promised will come to fruition. What will that include? A thesis on Honey Bunches of Oats, A Day in the Life of The Penguin, and more pointless lists.
3. Mr. Zhuang's ancient Chinese secrets.
4. More goofy pictures.
5. More drinking.

So there you go. 2008 is going to kick ass. It's certainly gonna be better than 2007. After all, the only thing that came out in 2007 was this stupid site. All we ask is that you leave comments--they're sure to be better than whatever crap we actually post.